Call It a New Story
by Ravoniya
Summary: This is the sequel to Call it What You Want. This story follows the once teens into their adulthood. Who would've known that the drama would continue five years later? Amy's alone; Ben is engaged; Adrian is still bitter; Grace is missing home; and Ricky?
1. I'm not the Same

_********__The Secret Life of the American Teenager, all of it belongs to Brenda Hampton_

**AN: ****I'm back you guys, this first chapter pretty much just tell you where certain people are. It is important though so please don't skip out on it. It'll probably be a lot more drama in this story, so without further rambling from me… Enjoy the sequel to Call it What You Want entitled Call it a New Story.**

**Amy's PoV**

I'd watched John read the letter from Ricky yesterday. No matter, what he loved him, he'd always love him. He didn't understand that his daddy had abandoned him but he's getting older now. John would look for him one day and realize that his dad wasn't coming back and I wasn't prepared for that. I wouldn't know what to tell him. Ricky is a coward for leaving, he could have at least told me to my face that he was done with this, done being responsible, done playing house, instead, he left a note. That's all he was to me now anyway, a pen pal, well to John anyway. I never responded to his letters, he didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve anything.

Before, I used to get upset when I thought of the way he left, now I don't care. It didn't bother me because I didn't love him anymore and I realize that he never loved me. I lie in my bed this morning gazing at the ceiling, John was up roaming around the apartment, I could hear him. All I needed was a few more moments of peace before we started our hectic day. The only peace I had during the day was when John went to sleep. He was a rough little one. Always in trouble at school, loving being the class clown and of course, like Ricky, he was quite the ladies man. Just last week I had to sit in a conference with the 1st grade principal because my lovely son thought it would be fitting of him to kiss his female peers on the lips. It was only obvious that I raised him to be the perfect gentlemen, to a certain extent.

There was an explosion in the kitchen and I nearly fell out the bed in fear. Stumbling, I ran past Johns room and into the kitchen where I knew he was. Coming around the corner, there he was laughing as hard as he could. He must of heard me come in because he snapped his head to the left, where I was standing looking for the source of the noise.

"That was so cool mommy," He said trying to contain his excitement. I walked by him and looked at my expensive microwave colored with egg. I glared at him, squinting my eyes for extra umph. He quit his laughing and snuggled up to my skinny leg and hugged as tight as he could. "I was only trying to make you breakfast mommy"

I rolled my eyes and rubbed his head in mock annoyance.

"John, you cannot play with the microwave, it's not safe for you. I've told you that before," I put my hand on my forehead and closed my eyes. The day was starting off with a bang, literally.

"I'm a big boy now mommy, I should be doing things for you. One reason, because I love you so much, two reason is because you're the best," He kissed my leg. What a sweet talker he was. Squatting down to his level I looked him in they eyes.

"John, you are a big boy and mommy is coming to terms with that, but there are some things you're not able to do yet. It's my job to cook your breakfast for right now, and I love doing that," I could see the disappointment in his eyes. I hated denying him his rights, but I did not want him doing things he wasn't ready for.

"Okay," he said as I got up and stretched. His head was hanging low as he twiddled his fingers together.

"Hey, there is one thing you can start doing for mommy that big boys do," He looked at me with a curious stare. "There are three trashcans in this house, one in the kitchen, one in my bathroom and one in your bathroom, can you start tying those up for me and taking them out. Also, you can start cleaning up around here, that would help mommy out a lot. How about, I can do the kitchen, the bathrooms and my room and you can do your room and the living room?" He grinned and ran back to me, squeezing my leg again and I couldn't help but to smile down at him.

"Thank you mommy thank you," His enthusiasm made my heart glad. Six years from now he wouldn't be too excited about cleaning up.

"Okay, okay we'll see if you're saying that when you turn sixteen. Why don't you go and play with your cars while I pack our bags?" He ran into the living room and I heard the sound of toys clashing against the hardwood floor. Turning the other way, I went into John's room and pulled his overnight bag from the closet. I began packing his clothes as I made myself aware of the time.

My parents would be expecting John and I around early or mid afternoon. The plane is supposed to be leaving at 11:00 a.m. I had roughly three hours to get ready. I hadn't seen my parents in about five months, I'd planned on seeing them at least every two months, but things had become so chaotic. I was preparing to finally graduate from NYU after changing my major three times. I'd finally decided on psychology. I thought maybe if I could read someone's emotions, so to speak, I could help them solve their problems like I wished someone could've helped me solve mine five years ago.

I leaned against the doorframe as I watched John brush his teeth making sure he got every crevice and cranny. He was known for doing halfway jobs which is why I expected to have to go back and clean up after his cleaning up. He watched me through the mirror and I smiled at him. He reared back his head and spit into the sink, then opened the small bottle of Listerine and threw it back. Once again after the proper rinse he spit. He looked back at me for approval.

"Teeth," I said as he smiled his best smile for me. I put my thumbs up in acceptance as he shot past me to throw on his clothes. He'd been as ready for this trip as I was. John had missed his grandma and grandpa, especially his grandpa since he let him do anything and everything.

I went to my room and grabbed a blanket for John because I knew he would sleep on the plane, he always did. Throwing the blanket into the carry on back pack I zipped it up as I saw John dragging his bag down the hallway into the living room. Laughing to myself, I followed behind him with my bag in hand. This would definitely be a fun trip.

**Adrian's PoV**

I hated doing this behind her back. Talking to him, answering questions that he should've known. It wasn't my job to keep him updated on his son, it was his job to be here and know on his own. Ricky couldn't keep doing this to me, it was hard to keep this a secret, especially since Amy had become my best friend. Why couldn't he call Ben or Ashley? Besides, it wasn't like I was around Amy that much, she was on the other side of the map while I was stuck here in California.

I'd only stayed here for the sake of Avery. I wanted her to be close to Ben since he was her dad and all. Dylan sure can't stand the thought of Ben and me having a child together. God she was a bitch. Was I supposed to stop coming over there just because she was his fiancée? No. I had a right to go to Ben's house, he is the father of my child. Dylan thought she was little miss perfect, always twirling around like freaking Cinderella or something, but I knew her. I could see right through those pretty green eyes, that's why she hated me. She'd tried to persuade Ben to stop letting me bring Avery over and we all know how Ben is. She even had the audacity to pound into Ben's head that Avery wasn't his. He said he didn't think that for a minute, but I could see the doubt in his eyes every time he looked at her. That pissed me off.

"Adrian, are you even listening to me?" The deep, sharp voice cut through the air as I obliviously shook my head to clear out the thoughts running through them. His eyes were piercing and he had his serious face on.

"Yeah dad, I'm listening," He stared at me with that lawyer glint in his eyes.

"What did I say then?" I racked my brain looking for anything I could to try to remember something that he might of said. He began to ramble off in Spanish seeing me struggle.

"That's the problem, you don't listen, never have. I said you need to stop being so mean to Dylan. She's going to be your daughters stepmother soon Adrian, you two can't keep bickering all the time. Both of you need to grow up," I rolled my eyes in annoyance. He didn't understand, he never would. He didn't have to deal with this situation like I had to.

"You should be having this conversation with her, she always starts with me. I've never done anything to her,"

"Really Adrian? You haven't done anything? Maybe you should stop referring to her as 'the bitch' and stop telling everyone she's a cocaine addict," He placed the palm of his hands on the table and glared at me. I couldn't help but to grin. Yes, I was guilty of those thing, but it wasn't like I was lying, she is a bitch. "You aren't in high school anymore Adrian. Grow up, act like a lady, be the bigger person. It's the right thing for your child to see. If she see's you acting this way, she might start acting like it too," Too late. I can tell she doesn't like Dylan already. I won't tell dad that though.

"She won't dad," I looked at my watch thankful that Avery was out of school early today. "Well, look at the time, I have to go pick up your granddaughter from school," I got up swiftly and placed a kiss on his cheek. He sighed as though he was giving up on me. He stood up and wrapped his arm around me giving me a hug.

"At least try Adrian," I smiled at him as he let go and began walking out the door. "Adrian Lee?"

"Okay, okay dad, I'll try geesh," I waved at him as I closed the door quietly not wanting to wake my mother from her nap. She'd just gotten back from working a two week shift flying back and forth across the country.

The drive to Avery's school from my apartment was short but from mom and dad's house, it was about forty minutes. I'd decided to move out of the condo because it became to expensive and Ben had stopped paying for it. I didn't mind moving into a smaller place, it was just a big step down.

I watched as Avery's teacher walked her over to me. There was a defeated look on her face as she let go of the teacher and walked towards me. I opened my arms up for her and she gave me a weak hug, definitely not used to that. Opening the back door for her, she climbed in and put her seatbelt on as I planted a kiss on her cheek.

Closing the door, I began to drive off. I glanced at her the rearview mirror. She was playing with her long black curly hair, her brown doe eyes were filling with unshed tears.

"What's wrong sweetie?" She huffed behind me as I asked. Avery was known for her sass and attitude, I'm starting to think she got that from me. "Ava, come on, tell mama what's the matter," I glanced in the mirror and saw her rolling her eyes. A tear slipped out as she wiped it away from her cheek.

"Daddy was supposed to come get me, I miss him," My heart skipped a beat.

"Ava, daddy is away on business, he and the mean old lady left two days ago," I couldn't stomach her name at this point.

"Aw he's always with her. He loves her more than me," The wetness in her eyes came down like a rainstorm. I wanted to go back there and comfort her, to hold her and tell her that it wasn't true, but Ben has been doing more things with Dylan than he has Avery.

"Don't say that, he doesn't love her more than you. Your dad, he's just, well, just like any other man, forgetful and selfish," Maybe I shouldn't be teaching my daughter that. Well, it was the first thing that came to mind and it wasn't a lie. Most-if not all- men are that way at one moment in their life.

"That has nothing to do with nothing mama," I could hear the disbelief in her voice. Her change in emotions was astonishing.

"Nothing to do with nothing huh babe," I giggled and she sighed dramatically. "How about this, let's go get some ice-cream and we'll talk about where you got that saying from okay?" I smiled at her through the rearview mirror as she perked up at the sound of ice-cream. If everything else fails, bribe her with food.

**Grace's PoV**

The bickering and the fist fights were getting old. He was always accusing me of cheating when clearly he was the one that couldn't keep his pants zipped. Jesus, what a freaking hypocrite. I made a mistake when I decided to live with him, now it was like I couldn't leave. It was bad enough that I hated being away from home, out of California, but being away from home and being with someone you hate to love, that was worse.

I'd gotten better since the rehab and the therapy, but some things never change. I wasn't a whore like I used to be, but I was still very much tempted to sex every good looking guy that walked by me. Tony was the same, but with females. He reminded me of Ricky, well, the old Ricky before Amy that is, though he didn't have a legitimate reason, he just does it. That didn't stop my heart from pounding out of my chest every time I saw him though. His wild dirty blonde hair and his medium build were perfect. I nearly fell into his grey eyes when we first met. In yet, his attitude was horrible due to his frequent paranoia. That's what brings us to this very point in time.

I stood in front of my bag packing my clothes, throwing in miscellaneous things that belonged to me. Stomping past him I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my makeup kit and toothbrush. He sat on the couch drinking his liquor and watching an "important" basketball game, well more important than me leaving anyway. Huffing at him, I walked behind the entertainment center and snatched the cord out of the wall. Rolling his eyes he stood up and went into the kitchen and grabbed a plate from the cabinet. I could see the slight smirk on his face.

"Why are you picking fights with me Grace?" He said looking in the refrigerator, trying to find a distraction. He was trying to ignore me and I didn't appreciate that.

"I didn't start this you did," I said yelling and kicking the door of the refrigerator and got satisfaction from it banging him in the shoulder. He stood up and shut the door, I could see the fire in his eyes and I knew he wanted to snap. Blowing me off, he left the plate on the counter and walked towards the front door. "So now you're going to leave Anthony? Every time we get into an argument you're ready to bail out like some child instead of facing it like a man. Well, I take that back, a child has more courage than you,"

"I'm not the one that packs my bags every time the going gets tough Grace, you are. Who's the one grabbing things and throwing them in the nearest suitcase?" He paused and waited for my response. "That would be you," he said pointing.

"I hate you," He took his hand off the handle and cackled as he leaned against the wall and stared at me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll see if you're saying that ton-"

"There will be no tonight, I'm leaving Tony. I'm leaving for good this time," He pushed himself off the wall and swiftly walked towards me. I coward backward into the corner of a wall and as soon as I looked up, he was in front of me, searching my face, caressing my skin.

"Your going to leave me Grace?" he asked kissing my neck. I tried to push him away. I was weak under his touch, but I was trying to force myself to focus. Putting my hands on his chest I shoved him away with all my might.

"Stay off me Anthony," I said as I slapped him. The sound off was deafening to my ears because I knew he would be pissed. Quickly he grabbed my arms tightly and shook me causing my head to hit the wall.

"Let's not go there tonight Grace. You never win Grace, you never will win. Why do you choose to test me all the time?" He hollered into my face. He waited for my next move, but I didn't know what to do. I stood there trying to hold back my tears, but they fell. He finally let me go as I stumbled down the hallway into our room and slammed the door shut. Every fight we had began and ended the same way. Tomorrow, he would promise me that it was the last time, he would apologize for everything and then, we would have sex and forget about it. There would be no tomorrow for me though, not here, not with me. I was tired and I didn't want to be like the women who allowed abuse to get worse. I was too good for this, I was too good for him; He knew I was and so did everyone else. Maybe that bang against the wall did me good. It made me realize that it was time to go home.

**Review Review Review! Tell me what you thought of the three dysfunctional musketeers….**


	2. A New Life

**Ricky's PoV**

I watched her as she slept. She looked so peaceful as if the weight of the world wasn't on her shoulders. There were days when I whished she were Amy cuddled into my side, but she wasn't, she was nothing like her. During the day she was a ruthless law student, during the night she was calm and generous. This relationship was different from the others I've had. I've become serious about her. She had been the only person to remain constant in my life, especially now. She understands that I can become angry sometimes and I can throw adult tantrums. Rachel, she knows how to deal with me, how to calm me. Amy, I'm not sure she would've been able to do that. Some days, I threaten violence, but she only laughs at me, then uses her lips to shut me up, just as she did last night.

We lay here as our sleep in day, the day we made a tradition out of. I don't have to go to work, she doesn't have to attend school, it's relaxation time. I'll only lay here a few moments more, just to pull myself together. The bed shifted beside me and I knew that she was about to wake up. I noticed these little things about her. I knew when she was upset because she would stare off into space and blank from the rest of the world around her. When she was nervous, she would continuously flip her dirty blonde hair over her shoulder. I smiled at myself because I knew so much about her that no one else would notice.

I felt her full soft lips on the corner of my mouth and I turned to kiss her back. She moved her head onto my bare chest and began to caress the skin there causing me to shiver.

"What are you smiling about?" I could hear the humor in her voice, the expectations seeped out of her mouth.

"Nothing, just thinking about things, about you," I said looking her in the eye, her grey eyes were full of adventure, her lips turned up into a smile, and I could see a small tint of pink on her cheeks. "Why so modest now?" I said chuckling at her expense.

"I don't know. That just… you know stuff like that never gets old. It makes me feel good," I kissed her forehead and tightened our embrace. We lie here in silence because that's all we needed. There was no need to fill the room with chatter because we were comfortable like this, it felt right. "I love you Ricky," she said smoothly. I kissed her on the forehead once again and forced out the words I knew I'd regret.

"I love you too," I'd been telling her this because I didn't want to hurt her, she was innocent in my entire ordeal, she barely knew my past if that.

"Well, if you love me, why don't you take me to meet your family? I mean, you've already met mine," I knew it would lead to this, it always does. This was how most of our arguments began, but today I was determined not to let that happen.

"Rach-"

"Nevermind, I don't want to hear the excuses, but it would be nice if I knew a little bit more about you," I doubt that. She would probably either pity me or kill me, depending on what I tell her first. I probably should've at least told her about John.

"You know everything about me Rach, what more is there?" She grumbled at my stubbornness and rolled out of bed. I sighed as I heard the door slam. Usually I would retaliate, but I wasn't in the mood for this.

I'd been feeling down about not seeing my son in five years. Adrian would call me and tell me little things about him, but it wasn't the same as being there. Adrian told me that whenever he and Amy would come down, John would treat Avery like a little sister. He would beat boys up on the playground if they made her cry or did something mean to her. Also, for what I've heard, he's the perfect gentleman. I knew Amy would raise him right without me, she was a great mom.

My phone vibrated on the bedside table and I rolled over to retrieve it. The number was foreign, yet familiar. I'd talked to someone from this number before. I picked it up realizing who it was.

"Ben?" There was a pause. "Ben?"

"Ricky, dude, I just made the biggest decision of my life," I heard excitement seeping through his lips. I rolled my eyes, every decision he made was big, especially lately.

"What'd you do this time Ben? Bought a house for Avery? Bought Avery a car?" He laughed on the other end of the line. Ben would do anything for that little girl.

"No, nothing to that extent. I asked Dylan to marry me," I sat up in the bed and couldn't help the grin that grew on my face.

"Wow Ben, what did she say?"

"She said yes. Ricky, I'm about to be married can you believe that?" He cackled shortly and then cleared his throat.

"Yeah I can believe it Ben, you've already been married once so I'm not to surprised, well, maybe a little," I wondered how Adrian would feel about this. I knew she wasn't a big fan of Dylan so there was going to definitely be drama for Ben.

"That's true, well, glad that's over. The whole marrying Adrian thing was a disaster waiting to happen. I mean it was good first, but we were only in high school and truly, we got married for the wrong reasons," I grumbled in agreement and rubbed my hand across my face. "I wasn't ready for a commitment like that,"

"Are you sure you're ready for a commitment now. I mean, you've got you're dad's company which you're about to take global. Adrian is still riding you about Dylan, are you ready for all that Ben, the life of a married man. You're going to have to give your all to Dylan no matter what. She's going to hate that you spend so much time with Avery because she's going to want attention-"

"I know Ricky and I've thought about all of that. I think I'm ready… I think I can balance everything out. I love this girl Ricky and I'm ready to make her mine and mine only, forever," There was sincerity pouring out of him. I'd never heard him talk like this about any of the girls he's been with, well maybe Amy, but that's different.

"Aww, is Ben growing up?" I chuckled lightly.

"Funny Ricky. You know what, I want you to be my best man Ricky. What do you think about that?" I couldn't help but to smile. Who would've thought that Ben Boykewich and Ricky Underwood would have ever been best friends?

"Sure Ben, why not," I said without thinking clearly.

"Great, well, one down. Now I have to call Adrian and tell her, God help me," he said before hanging up the phone.

Getting up from the bed, I went into the kitchen as Rachel cooked breakfast, she was still upset. I smirked and walked behind her, wrapping my army around her waist. She tensed up and sighed heavily. I kissed her on the neck and she relaxed a bit. Little did she know, she may be meeting my family sooner than she thinks. There was no way I could call been and take it back because I wanted to be there for him. I'll just have to suck it up and take it like a man, like I should've done years ago.

**Nora's PoV**

The first time I saw my grandson my heart had beaten uncontrollably because I could see my son inside of him. Amy had allowed me to meet him after Ricky left. I was continually grateful to her because John made me so happy. He made me feel like I could go on. I wish that I could see him everyday, hold him. It made me happy that Amy was coming down to visit for the week. I hadn't seen John in so long. George and Anne had invited me over to their house for dinner later, to welcome Amy home.

Amy was so sweet and innocent and I hated what Bob had done to her. I wished that I would've been able to warn her, to stop him. No one should ever have to go through that. I remember what Bob did to me, what he would do to Ricky, and I felt so guilty and filthy. I did nothing to save my son from all that pain and anguish. Ricky, I know he resents me, probably hates me, I would hate me to if I were him. It wasn't fair for him to endure that as a human being, as a child. Both Ricky and I had to put up with abuse from Bob, but I was supposed to protect him, he was my blood. I would do all I could to protect John from abuse and any other thing that would harm him physically, mentally and emotionally. I had another chance, God gave me another chance and I was willing to take it.

"Nora, you okay?" Anne asked me as she put the pasta in a bowl. She watched me with curious eyes. I smiled at her and nodded.

"I'm fine Anne, just thinking," She began to chop some carrots as I placed a few onions in the skillet.

"'Bout what?" Anne and I, we'd become best friends. We talked about everything and anything.

"Just… I don't know… my son. Why do you think he left? I mean you said he and Amy were in love and everything was going well, why did he leave?" Anne stopped chopping and slumped her shoulders. When she looked at me, she wasn't angry and hate wasn't in her eyes, she was trying to understand herself.

"Maybe he just couldn't handle the pressure anymore. Ricky- after Amy's rape- had changed and I think I was the only one to notice. I thought that he would burst soon, but I never thought he'd leave Amy like that, especially with a note," She began her duty again. I moved beside her and got some carrots to help her chop and shred for the salad.

"You said- you said he… changed, what do you mean?" Putting the knife down, she faced me.

"Nora, Ricky, he became angry a lot, more annoyed with things. Early on after Amy's experience, he was there for her, he never got aggravated or angry, he only wanted her to feel better, but as it progressed he was done. I know for a fact that he was going back to that old apartment because I followed him one day. I'd thought he was cheating on Amy or drinking or something and I doubted my suspicions because I knew Ricky loved her. Every time he stepped into that place, he came home more different. Before he left, he'd become nearly controlling and used protecting Amy as an excuse-"

"He went back to that apartment?" I said to myself. I couldn't imagine why he would want to be there, then it dawned on me. "Do you think he was looking for closure?" Anne shrugged her shoulders and picked her knife up again.

"I don't know what he was looking for, but that place, it did something to him, changed him. I hate to say this, especially around you Nora, maybe… maybe he was turning into Bob," She sighed and cast her eyes downward. It didn't offend me like it should have because there was a possibility that she could've been right.

"But Anne, he didn't drink, he didn't do drugs. He knows what that stuff does to people. I doubt he was turning into his father. He probably just didn't know how to deal with his own father doing such a horrible act on his girlfriend," I began to cut the carrots like there was no tomorrow, Anne gave me a funny look.

"That's true Nora, but we'll never figure it out unless Ricky tells us, and I doubt that. I'll almost be surprised if Ricky came back home,"

"I wouldn't be too surprised Anne, my son, he doesn't like for being known as a coward for too long and this, it takes the cake. He'll be back," I was trying to reassure myself.

"I hope so Nora because John is growing up fast and even though he loves Ricky now, things change. Amy has already given up on his return and I'm sure John isn't to far behind her. By Johns eighth birthday next year, if Ricky's not back, Johns going to think his daddy abandoned him and he's going to hate him," Anne was right, I was surprised that John held Ricky close to his heart even now. Kid's they're so different, so innocent and sometimes I wish I could be that way. I wish that I hadn't grown up and I wish that I could stick by my mothers side forever, it was so much easier that way. Trust me when I say I've come from a long line of abandonment. I could relate to my grandson even thought I don't want to. I don't want him to suffer trust issues and low self-esteem, he didn't deserve that, no one deserved that. I need to talk to Ricky, I need him to come home, not just for Amy, but for the sake of his sons sanity.

**Ashley's PoV**

I watched them through the window, all the teenager getting ready to party over the weekend. I was never like that in high school, I was never part of the crowd, a loner, that's what I was. Some days, I want to go back and change the way my life in high school went. It wasn't fun having no friends and fighting with my sister all the time. Now I realized that I hadn't understood Amy. After she had John she changed and I thought she was only doing it because she thought she was an adult, but she wasn't. Amy in a weird way was only being a mother, to me and to John. She'd grown up, she had to. Amy had wound up being a great mother to John. She'd learned to balance out high school, a baby, and a boyfriend. I'd ridiculed her then without thinking things through properly. On top of that, I almost ruined it all with my so called feeling for Ricky. I was such an idiot then.

I was planning on going back to school to get my degree. I had it on my heart to be a social worker. I'd seen so much happen with Amy and I'd heard about Ricky's past and I didn't want to see that happen to other kids. I'm determined to stop abuse.

"Ash, we're headed out to pick up Amy from the airport, you want to come?" My dad asked standing at the mouth of my room.

"No I'm fine," he hit the frame of the door lightly and descended from my doorway. "Hey dad?" I called out to him.

"Yeah?" he called back enthusiastically.

"What do you think about me going back to school and getting my degree?" I asked getting up from my bed and heading towards the door. He had a stunned look on his face as though he'd just been slapped. It wasn't that surprising was it? Jeez I know I never mention going to college but I'd thought about it.

"Ash, I think that would be wonderful, hell, I'll pay out of pocket tuition and by you an apartment. Wherever you want to go sweetie, you can go," He came up to me and gave me a hug.

"Thanks dad,"

"I'm so proud of you Ashley, I was beginning to think you were going to rot in this house. Look, how about we let Anne and Nora go pick up Amy and John, and you and I talk about schools?" He was more excited than I was.

"No dad go ahead and get Amy, we'll have plenty of time for that later," He nodded his head lightly and smiled at me. He turned to walk down the stairs as I went back to my room.

I was finally making a decision to move on with my life, after 5 years, I was beginning to move on.

That's chapter 2 guys! R&R Please! P.S. There may be some grammar mistakes, sorry, I was in a rush. Also, Ashley's part was a little rushed, kinda needed a filler.


	3. Emotions

**The Secret Life of the American Teenager and all its characters belong to Brenda Hampton…**

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><p><strong>Amy's PoV<strong>

Adrian and I sat on the swings as we watched John and Avery run around the playground. They were so free, they had no worries or cares and I hated that they would grow up so fast and enter the real world. I hated that they would have to experience heartbreak at one point in their lives. The situations of the real world could not be prevented or stopped; destiny would have to take its course just like it had with me. Days like this, when I was pondering my son's future, I thought maybe I was meant to be alone. Maybe I was only supposed to be here for John and John only, no husband, no other children. Life hasn't proven that theory wrong yet and I'm only getting older.

Who knew that my life would be such a mess? I was only 22-years-old; I shouldn't be suffering from a crisis. There was so much more life ahead of me if only I could let go of the things from the past. Everyone else around me, all my friends, all my associates, they were overcoming major things and I was still stuck in that bathroom at my house with that pill bottle in my hand while Ricky and my mother banged on the door. I'd left the biggest part of myself in that room. I'd wanted to give up, wanted to throw in the towel, but I forced myself to get better, I forced myself to put on a front in front of my family. I had been so sick of being the center of attention and I didn't want Bob to win, in yet he did. He's still winning, even in death.

There were nights when I would have nightmares about the rape, they seemed so real. I could hear him walking towards me, feel him touching me and forcing himself inside of me. Then I would wake up before the dream ended, and I would cry, sob. I couldn't outrun the past no matter where I went. It was hell. John would wake up to my sobs and run into my room and wrap his little arms around me. I knew he didn't remember and I wouldn't bring it up, I never would.

"How is New York Amy?" Adrian asked pulling me out of my reverie. Looking at her, I could see that she was stressed, no matter how she tried to hide it.

"Adrian, you ask me that every time I come back. We have to get some new conversation starters," I said chuckling lightly. She smiled and slapped my arm playfully.

"Ben's marrying Dylan," she spat out staring at me with hatred in her eyes. "I hate her Amy, I really, really hate her and he's still going to marry her, and he _definitely_ knows I _hate_ her," Adrian said with disdain. There was a look of disgust on her face.

"Ben? Marrying Dylan? How long have they been together?" I said scrunching up my face in disbelief.

"Don't know, don't care… Avery's _not_ going to come second place to some stuck up bitch who thinks she's little miss perfect," Adrian was becoming way to heated, but I'm sure Dylan couldn't be that bad. I mean, I've only met her once and she was nice to me.

"Adrian she can't be that ba-"

"Amy, you don't _know_ her, she is that bad. Everyone thinks it's me, they always think it's me, but it's not. She provokes me and she does it on purpose. On top of that, she doesn't even like Avery and Ben doesn't even care, he's such an idiot," There was a longing in her eyes. Adrian missed Ben, it was that, or she was jealous of his relationship with Dylan. Who wouldn't be? The boy did everything for her, from the smallest things to the largest things.

"Adrian, what's the problem, other than the fact that she doesn't like Avery and are you even sure of that?" Adrian sucked her teeth and looked passed me at the children running around, chasing one another. I could see the love for both of them in her eyes. She turned back to me with a serious look on her face.

"Amy, you sound like everyone else, I know she doesn't like her. I'm not making this up,"

"What reason would she have not to like her Adrian?" I needed to know because it didn't make sense. Avery was so innocent.

"She knows that Ben will do anything for Avery. She knows that even if it's something big or important, like their wedding, that he would drop it for his daughter. Dylan isn't dumb, she knows that even if Ben and I are over, for good, that I would always be before her and she takes it out on my child," I touched Adrian's shoulder to comfort her. She was being so sincere. I wouldn't say she was wrong because I wasn't around when she and Dylan were together. Then, I finally had to ask the question that was eating away at me since we started this conversation.

"Adrian… don't get me wrong when I ask you this… I just have to know so I can try to understand a few things, but do you have feelings for Ben?" She looked up at me in shock. Different emotions crossed over her face and finally settled on… sadness?

"I don't know Amy, I didn't think I did, maybe I just wish that he and I could've had what he and Dylan have now." We sat in silence for a while and looked out into the distance. "Since we're talking about… you know… feelings, I want to ask you this. Do you still love him?" I knew who she was talking about. I could feel my heart trying to pound out of my chest. Chills went up my spine. It was rare that someone would bring him up, especially around me. Everyone's usually afraid of how I might feel or if I'm going to break down, but I've suppressed the emotions that make me feel for him.

"… Uhh… I don't know if I can really answer that right now Adrian. Maybe a small part of me desires him, for him to touch me again, to hear his voice, but I'm not sure if I love him anymore. If you would've asked me that last year I probably would've said yes… but now… I'm no- I'm not so sure," I looked at her and then glanced at John. He smiled at me before continuing to play with Avery. Adrian put her hand on my knee and squeezed lightly. I gave her a small smile.

"Do you think he still loves you?" My smile fell and I looked into the clouds wishing that I could be up there with the birds, flying away.

"I doubt it, if he loved me he would've stayed, he wouldn't have ran away from us," I said referring to John and I. "I mean, he even left his family and it's not like he moved down the street you know, he moved to another state. He doesn't visit John, he doesn't send pictures, and he doesn't call. At first, I thought I could forgive him because I thought that he would come back, that he would realize the mistake he made, but I can't forgive him, ever," I sat on the swing, holding onto the chain with all my might, hoping the pain from the chain would relieve some of the pain in my heart. I reminisced on all the things Ricky had done to me, all the things that he put me through. I'd already been suffering from depression before he left, after he left I was damn near out of my mind. I would ignore John, I would drop him off with my parents for days at a time, I was losing my grip on everything. If it weren't for Ashley, I would still be in that same spot today. A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it quickly, Adrian got out of her swing and wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry for bringing this up. All of this is my fau-"

"No Adrian, it's not your fault, it's his. Everything is his fault and I _hate _him. I neglected everything important to me because of him. I was not a mother to _my_ son for so long after he left. I know it's bad to say, but sometimes, I wish John would hate him too, I wish he understood that his daddy isn't coming back," The tears fell rapidly. Why can't my life just be a breeze, there was always so much drama with me. I was so bitter, so hateful towards Ricky and I didn't want to be, but I couldn't help it. Ricky was hurting me and he wasn't even here. I wonder if he felt the pain that I did.

I hope he _never_ comes back, I hope he stays where he is. I'm sure he's moved on, I'm sure he's found him a nice little girlfriend who does everything for him. She probably threw a pity party for him when she found out about his "troubles". Did she even know about the letters that he sent to John?

Rage was building up inside of me and I couldn't control it. I wanted to let loose on somebody, something, but I knew that wasn't the right decision. _Damn you Ricky for making me feel so powerless, for making me fear the future. _

**Ashley's PoV (Past)**

_I watched her come in late; this wasn't the first time she'd been like this. I feared that John would wake up one night and see his mother stumbling into the house, drunk out of her mind. I hate Ricky for doing this to her, I hate her for allowing him to have so much control over her life. Adrian had tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. My parents were beginning to give up on her, but I wouldn't. I knew Amy was better than this, better than some depressed chick who sat in bars all day and night drinking their problems away. _

_ Amy gazed at me through her glazed vision. I'm sure she was seeing more than one Ashley. Picking up a cup of coffee, I pushed it into her hands and dragged her into the bathroom. She sipped the coffee and giggled at herself, I wanted nothing more than to punch her in the throat. _

"_Look at yourself Amy," I forcefully said into her ear. She laughed and began primping herself while looking in the mirror. I would do the talking since I knew the only thing that would come out of her mouth would be stupid. "Look at what you've become, how you've let Ricky turn you into something you're not. Look how you've let the Underwood men corrupt you and recreate you. You're a puppet Amy, you're a puppet to them and they're not even here anymore, they left you, left you attached to the strings. How can they still play you when they don't even care about you," Amy quit her giggling and stared at herself in the mirror. I knew she was sobering up. "Can you even remember who you used to be? Can you remember you had a family before Ricky came along, before John came along? You used to be this happy girl, you were always positive, always ready to conquer the world. What happened to her Amy? You let some selfish guy change your whole life; you fell in love with him and look what he's done to you. First he snatched away your innocence and got you pregnant, he didn't even care about the baby; it took him so long to care. Then, he cheated on you, but you forgave him. Then, after everything that happened, the rape, the depression, the recovery, he left you, left you to fend for yourself in a world full of sharks. He left you and your son and he's so cowardly that he only writes letters, he can't even show his face," Amy stared at herself in the mirror. I could tell that she was becoming angry, but I also knew she was beginning to understand her life. "We're so sick of your drama Amy Jurgens, we're sick of you playing the victim. You are no longer the victim, your son is. I wish you could see his face every time you leave him here, every time you don't come home. He's already been abandoned by one parent, I don't think he needs to be abandoned by another. Get over your fucking issues Amy because we're sure over you," I left her there in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She stayed there for a while, studying herself. I hadn't meant to be so hard on her, but my feelings began to flow. My emotions that I thought I could control got in the way and I was afraid that she would do something stupid. _

_ That night, I couldn't sleep, I thought about all the things I said and I wanted to go apologize to Amy. I was going to her room, but then I heard weeping, in the bathroom. Amy was still there, looking at herself, her tears soaked her shirt and stained her face. _

"_I'm so sorry…. I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry," she repeated over and over through her labored breathing. She could barely hold herself up, so she clenched the sink. I couldn't stand there any longer; I burst through the bathroom door and wrapped my arms around her. We sank down to the floor and sobbed together, letting all our pain seep through our eyes in the form of tears. _

**Grace's PoV**

What would I say when I got home? What would I do? I've been gone so long and I'm sure everyone's forgotten I existed. I was such a bitch to everyone and I didn't expect to be forgiven or to be welcomed home in open arms. This was a mistake; I should just go back to Tony and apologize. I couldn't do anything without him. _You sound like a victim of abuse Grace. You're better than this, you don't need him. _I pushed forward, onto the plane and took my seat. I would not go back to him, I wouldn't let him control who I was, who I needed to be.

Looking out the window of the still boarding plane, I tried to find something to make me stay, but there was nothing here. I'd left everything I needed back in California; I left my friends, my family… I left it all, lost it all. I'm sure things were different now. Amy and Ricky were probably getting married. Adrian and Ben were most likely still together and successful. My mom, well, I don't what to say about her. She probably went back to school or something, I mean, that was her dream. I wonder what Grants doing?

I'd been thinking about him a lot lately, well more than lately, he was always the last thing on my mind when I went to sleep and the first thing when I woke up. I'd loved him, and I made a mistake by turning into a slut. I was just angry, I was tired of being the good girl and I was upset that my dad had died. I didn't know how to feel, so I didn't, I let my body do what it wanted to. I had no say so in the decisions it made, I was just there letting it overpower me, letting it turn me into an addict.

I was so grateful that Dr. Stevens was there to help me. I know sexual addiction isn't something you see often and I would never tell anyone that, that's why I went to rehab. I wasn't ashamed of myself anymore, but I did suffer a few consequences. I'd harbored an STD that I didn't know about that could've been quite deadly. Then, there was the situation before that where I'd decided to abort my baby.

There were days when I would dream about it. I would see it growing up and graduating. Now, I wouldn't even be able to have kids, something I always wanted. I was so stupid, why had I gotten myself in a situation where something so enjoyable turned my life upside down?

**Rachel's PoV**

I was finally going to meet his family. This was the moment that I've been waiting for since I've met him. He was such a mystery and I loved that about him. I'm just afraid that something is going to happen when we go, I'm afraid that he's not telling me something. I only have a few months to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. My heart is telling me to trust Ricky, but my head is telling me that he's hiding something. Maybe I'm asking for too much too soon, maybe he's going to tell me later, he probably just needs time. He probably doesn't know what to say, how to say it.

"So, you're finally going to meet Ricky's family, are you excited?" My best friend Carla asked me with exhilaration in her voice. She'd known that I wanted to meet his family, she knew how in love I was with him, how I wanted him to be mine and mine only.

"I'm excited… and a little afraid. What if they don't like me?" Carla slapped me on the back a little too hard; she's very heavy handed for a little thing.

"They are going to _love_ you Rachel, what's not to love? You're smart, gorgeous, kind. You're beautiful babe, inside and out," She smiled at me and I returned the expression.

"Thanks Car," Carla and I had been best friends since high school. She was the first one I met down here after I moved from Baltimore. My dad was a military man so we moved around a lot; Carla had been my first, stable, friend. Back then, I wouldn't get too attached to people because I knew when we finally would form a connection, I would have to leave, but she was different, I just couldn't stay away from her.

"And maybe while you two are down there, you'll become the future Mrs. Underwood. Ricky is so in love with you Rach I'm surprised he hasn't proposed yet," Her words scared me because I didn't want him to propose just yet. I was afraid to be Mrs. Underwood.

"Maybe," I said nonchalantly. Something vibrated on the counter and I jumped up from the couch to see what it was. I knew it wasn't my phone because it was sitting on the coffee table where Car and I had been, so Ricky must have left his. I stared at the phone because I wanted to see who it was.

I'm not the type to go through his phone and be all suspicious, but something was telling me to look at the message, to see who was texting him. Slowly I picked it up and unlocked it.

_Ricky, we need 2 talk _

_Adrian_

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><p>That's chapter 3 so please, please review, tell me what you think of it so far. Also, I'm going to try and answer some questions that you ask, just ask me in the reviews and I'll post them every I post a new chapter… (Also, the will be a new Changing Pace chapter coming shortly, should be here before next week)..R&amp;R!<p>

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><p><strong>Here's a Preview for CP<strong>

I stared through the glass at my father and I could only see myself. I saw myself sitting there in an orange jumpsuit with a phone in my hand, talking to my wife, awaiting my trial and I realized that I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to be dictated by a judge or by a few measly guards. I didn't want to risk dying by being shanked in a dirty prison full of molesters, abusers, and killers. Killer, that's what I was, wasn't I? I'd taken a man's life; a man who had a family, who was successful, who didn't deserve to die.

There were nights when I would have nightmares about that particular moment. I would remember how the gun went off, how it made my hand tingle. That was my first time killing someone and I regretted every second of it. I wish I could go back, I wish I could take back everything that I'd done.

Joseph had been so proud of me, he'd been expecting me to do it and I didn't want to disappoint him. He was the first real father figure I had because my real dad didn't count for anything but a sperm donor. I wanted to make Joseph happy, but now, all I feel towards him is resentment.

He waited for me to talk through the receiver, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. He sat there with a light smirk on his face, as though he were happy to be inside such a place. _Shit. _I slammed the receiver in its place and stormed from the room.


	4. Reality Check 1

**Brenda Hampton own Secret Life of the American Teenager, characters and all. **

*******I've added a new character in the story, you don't know much about him yet, but in due time you will.**

**Grammar could possibly be bad because I was trying to rush through so I could get it on here, sorry in advance.**

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><p><strong>Ricky's PoV<strong>

Shoving my hands through my hair, I sat down at my desk and pulled out the picture of John and Amy from my drawer. I smiled as I cherished the memory of this picture,

we'd been at the park in it was John's first birthday. We had gone through so much that week and it ended perfectly. Our family was there, our friends, all of us celebrating a

tiring first year of baby John. I touched the picture and outlined Johns face with the tips of my fingers. I missed him.

Once, I didn't want anything to do with him, even wanted Amy to get an abortion, how could I have been so selfish. I'd never thought about her feelings. I never thought that

she may have fallen in love with our unborn child, and she had. John was Amy's pride and joy, she would do anything for him, just like I would. I smiled again and rubbed the

corner of my mouth.

_Why aren't you there with them Ricky? There aren't anymore excuses, if you can control your temper with Rachel, you can with Amy, she's stronger than you think. _I thought

boldly. Sitting the picture down, I gaped at the door. Every time I see I door, it reminds me of how I walked out on my family. Looking back down I gazed at the picture again.

I just couldn't escape all this guilt, it ate away at me everyday. I put the picture facedown on the desk and looked at the computer screen. Maybe I can find some work to do

or something.

There was a buzz on my phone and I slowly hit the intercom button. I wiped down my face and waited for someone to speak.

"Yes?" I asked when they finally didn't say anything. I removed my sports coat and rubbed my hands together half-heartedly.

"Rachel is here, should I send her in?" The office secretary said kindly. She knew that I didn't like to be interrupted while I was working, not even by Rachel. _But that's the _

_point of her existence in your life, she's your distraction, right? _

"Send her in," I said before my thoughts could pull me deeper into their deceptions. This happened every time I looked at that damn picture. I really need to get rid of it

before it gets me in trouble. I've tried to throw it away before, but I would always chicken out before it dropped from my fingertips.

The doorknob twisted and I tried to wipe the stress off my face. Glancing down, I realized that the picture was face down. Naturally, Rachel would pick it up and look at it, if I

knew her. She loved to be nosey. Before her head met her body and came around the door, I slid it off my desk and it fell to the floor beside my feet hard. As soon as I saw

her smiling face, I kicked under the chair in the corner by the bookshelf beside me. I smiled back up at her. When she finally reached my desk, she leaned over it and kissed

me dead on the lips.

"Hey sweetie," she said enthusiastically while pushing her hair behind her ears, _just like Amy. _I internally rolled my eyes at my memories. Now was not the time.

"Hey Rach, what are you doing here?" she sat down on the edge my desk facing me and smiled. God, I loved that smile. She was so beautiful. _Yes, a wonderful distraction. _

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch together and," she paused and fiddled around in her purse. She pulled out a phone and held it out to me. "I was bringing

you your phone," she handed it to me and I took it willingly. How had I forgotten my phone? It was the first thing I put in my pocket every morning after getting dressed. I

never left it at the house because it had things on there that I didn't want Rachel to see.

"Thanks babe," I said with a weak smile on my face. A blue light was blinking on it and I knew I had received a message, a new message. I stared at it before putting it on my

desk facedown. Rachel looked at me expectantly with amused eyes.

"Well, aren't you going to check that?" I made an incoherent noise and touched her thigh while shrugging. "It might be important," I sighed and picked up the phone, looking

at it, then placing it in my drawer.

"There are more important things. If it was that important they would have called," I picked up her hand and kissed. Rachel shivered lightly under my caress.

"Are you sure, cause it might be from Adrian," I stopped abruptly and let her hand loose from my grasp. How the hell did she know about Adrian? Looking up at her, I saw

that she was standing up with her arms crossed. There was a slight scowl on her face and I looked back at my desk drawer where I'd placed the phone. Once again, I glanced

up at her, it was starting to dawn on me. She didn't, did she? What reason would she have?

"Why would you go through my phone?" I was calmer than I thought I would be when I asked. Rachel's scowl set deeper into her round face. She was making it like I was the

bad guy and I hadn't even done anything.

"Who is Adrian and why would you two need to talk? How come I've never heard of her before?" I clasped the arm rests with each of my hands. She was accusing me,

insunating that I was cheating.

"Why do you need to know my business Rachel? Adrian is an old frie-"

"An old friend that you still see?" Her voice was weak and demanding all at once. I could tell that she wasn't sure is she wanted to know the answer.

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to. I was taught that a long time ago," Rachel flinched and uncrossed her arms to push back her hair. I watched as a

tear rolled down her cheek and she gave me one last glare before storming out of the room. I stared at the door and sighed heavily. Great, something else I had to deal with

later.

Going over to the chair in the corner, I reached down and searched for the picture with my hands. I felt the cool metal kissing my fingertips and I grabbed the edge of the

frame. Before looking at it, I went back to my desk chair and sat down. Groaning, I looked at the picture that had a crack in the glass. Right where Amy's chest was, there

were cracks going in five different directions. My heart fluttered and I sat the picture back down, I'd broken her heart.

**Ben's PoV**

She was so light in my hands, though she had grown so much. I always loved spending time with Avery, she was my dream come true. I know Adrian thought that she was a

burden on me and Dylan didn't think she was mine, but I loved Avery no matter what anyone else thought. She was the best thing that ever happened to me; she turned my

life around for the better.

I sat her down on the floor and allowed her to play with her toys, while I walked around my large home in search for my laptop. Last night I had come in and went straight to

bed just setting my things down everywhere. It had been so long since I'd been in my own bed and all I wanted to do last night was get there with no stops. I'd woken up with

my slacks and a button down on. I had no clue that I was that tired. I don't see how my dad did it, how he ran his own business. He would be so chilled out and relaxed when

he got home, like what he does isn't a big deal or something. I wish I would've inherited that skill.

Huffing lightly, I went into the hall closet where I usually kept my suitcase. I pulled out the heavy bag, squatted down and popped open the top. There it was, the laptop. It

held the reason for all my stress and exhaustion, my job. I made no move to put the suitcase back in its place, I was too lazy for that right now. Snatching up the laptop

carefully, I headed back towards the living room where my daughter was proudly sitting on the couch with my finance books and a pen in her hand.

Setting the laptop down on the coffee table I plopped down on the couch and pulled Avery into my lap. I gave her a small tickle on the ribs and let out a shrill laugh which put

a smile on my face. Kissing her forehead, I pulled her closer to me. She turned her head so that her ear was on my chest, right where my heart was.

"Daddy, is that your heart beating?" I nodded my head as she cut her eyes upward to see if I answered her. "I hear mommy talk about it all the time. What does it beat for?"

She lifted her head and I adjusted her on my lap so I could look into her eyes. I loved to look in her eyes when she was about to listen to someone. Her doe eyes would

slightly grow larger and there would be a small twinkle there. I wouldn't be able to explain this to her without having to answer a thousand more question.

"Well, it pumps love throughout our bodies, it keeps up standing and breathing. Do you feel how fast my heart is beating?" She lightly touched my chest and her little hands

pushed harder so she could get a better feel. Avery drew her hand back and smiled at me and nodded. "Well, that's because you're here, with me. If it was anyone else, it

wouldn't beat this fast, it never would. Out of everyone in my life Avery, I love you the most, I always will, no matter what," I reached down to grab her tiny hand and I kissed

the inside of it. She grabbed my thumb and squeezed, then her face fell.

"Why do you love me so much daddy?"

"Because my sweet, you are a part of me. Plus, you're smart, kind, loving, gorgeous, its going be hard for me to let you go when you're older," _I'm going to have to carry _

_around a loaded gun to keep those mongrels off you. _Avery looked confused, and then she hopped of my lap. She would understand later on down the line.

"Daddy. I know you have a lot of work to do. So I'm going to let you go so I can play with my toys," She said like my little secretary. There was some hardcore spunk behind

her high voice, she was going be more like Adrian than I thought. I watched her swing her hair side to side as she walked off to her self-proclaimed playroom, which used to

be my office. She kicked me out of there as soon as Adrian gave her a playroom in their apartment. Avery thought she had to have one everywhere. I chuckled at the

realization that my daughter had everyone wrapped around her finger, everyone but Dylan. That would be a task in itself.

**Adrian's PoV**

I'd been talking to him for awhile now. He sounded a little distraught and uneasy. Anxiety filled his voice and it sounded like he'd been… crying. That couldn't be, I'd never

known him to cry before, well it has been five years since I've actually seen him. Ricky and I, we kept in touch for good reason. He needed me and I would never leave him

high and dry because a small part of me still had a place in its heart for him. No, I didn't romantically love him, but I loved him for being a great friend, a confidant. When we

were dating, he'd always been there for me, he knew all the things I had went through as a kid, and vice versa.

Amy would kill me if she knew I still had contact with him, she would hate me most likely. I know I have no right to keep this from her, but he made me promise not to tell

her, although I did encourage him a few times to call her or at least come visit. He would shoot that down before I even finished the sentence. Ricky wasn't rude about it or

anything, I guess he just didn't know how to handle it.

"When is she leaving?" Ricky asked as though this was only everyday, casual conversation. I admired the guys nonchalance, he was pretty hard to read at times.

"I don't know Ricky probably next week. She come down every month for a weekly visit, I don't know how she does it in college," I said the last part mainly to myself.

"Well, you know Amy, the girl can do anything if she puts her mind to it," he was so right. She was like superwoman or something. Sometimes I wish I had that type of

personality, the I can do anything I want and not care about anyone else, personality. I used to have it, but I lost it somewhere in my last year of high school.

"Yeah that's our girl," I said awkwardly. There was a long pause and I could barley hear him breathing.

"What about John, how's he doing?" There was some expectation behind his words. I sighed, I was tired of playing this game with him. He should know how his son is doing.

"Why don't you come down here and I find out yourself?" I asked a little to harshly.

"Adr-"

"No Ricky, it is not my job to be your eyes and ears every time Amy comes home. Don't you send him letters? Why don't you ask him to send you pictures to?" Ricky huffed

on the other end. He knew I was right. As a matter of fact, I was always right when it came to me talking to him about Amy and John.

"Adrian, I can't do that. Then I would look even more like a coward," I rolled my eyes.

"Ricky Underwood you are the definition of coward here in Cali, hate to be the one to tell you," There was a small snicker on the other end, there was no emotion in it. "Ricky,

what made you leave? Why did you abandon them? Amy didn't deserve that, not after what she went through,"

"Adrian I don't want to here this, I don't want to talk about this, not right now, not ever again. No one knows and no one will understand the decision I made to protect the

ones I love," There was spite on his end of the line. I only wanted to know, I wanted to know so I could stop the process of despising him. After hearing everything Amy had

to say at the park, it was hell. I could see how her heart was broken. I knew she didn't want to admit how bad it hurt, but it was bad for her to hold that pain in. Everyone

knows how Amy gets when she just bottles up everything. One thing happens out of whack and she bursts like a bubble, spraying her drops of madness everywhere.

"Ricky, if I know you well, and I do, you're probably laid up with some chick who doesn't know half the things about your life. What is she, some whore or a new 'long term'

girlfriend? I bet she doesn't compare to Amy," I smirked on my end of the line.

"I'm going to ignore that last part and if you must know, I am not laid up with some whore; she is my girlfriend," He sounded so haughty and I wanted to hand up in his face.

His girlfriend? Really? He just basically said that he could be with Amy, the girl that he gave his heart to and had a child with, but he can be with some random chica off the

street. His priorities really weren't in perfect order. "And it's not like I meant to meet her, it just happened. We hit it off and it went from there. She's great Adr-"

"Shove it Underwood the only girl I want to here you talking about is my best friend. Meanwhile, that is so selfish of you, how could you move on with your life? It's like you

don't care about them anymore, like they don't even exist. Do you know how hard it is for everyone to answer John when he asks about you? How hard it is fro Amy? God

Ricky, do you realize that he's going to start hating you?" I didn't want to stop my rant, but I needed to breath. I needed to chill for a while before I threatened his life.

Running my fingers through my hair, I got up and went to the kitchen to pour me a glass of water.

"Adrian I told you I didn't want to hear it. I know what I'm doing, I don't need your help. He's not going to hate me, I'm his father," It was so tiring hearing people tying to

justify their excuses. "He'll always love me, no matter what," Setting the glass down, I leaned against the counter.

"What about you Ricky, do you still love your dad, even after what he put you through? Huh? You said no matter what?" There was a pause and I knew I had hit the target. I

probably went to far, but this was what he needed, a reality check.

"Goodbye Adrian Lee," He said and then there was a click. I didn't get a conversation ender, a call you later, just a goodbye. Who knows, this could be the final goodbye and if

it is, I have no regrets. I believe I said the right thing for John since he couldn't and wouldn't be able to say it himself, no time soon anyway. Ricky needed to grow up and

come home, come take care of responsibilities, his responsibilities before someone else stepped in.

**Amy's PoV**

I hadn't meant to run into him, I was trying to get home so I could get John to his nap. He had been playing all day and I could see the worn look on his face. I'd been

dragging him along the park pathway so I could get to my car but he was being a brat. He was a grumpy thing when he didn't get his way. He wanted to stay longer, but I

wasn't in the mood to watch him have fun while I sat there by myself thinking about what me and Adrian had been discussing, so, I had to bring out the mean parent.

That's when John ran into this gorgeous guy, he was tall, brunette dirty blonde and blue eyed. My heart pounded against my chest when I saw him, when he caught my eye.

"I- I'm Sorry," I stammered like and idiot. He had this sweet smile on his face and his lips looked so soft. From the corner of my eye, John gawked up at me. I held his hand

tighter, but not enough to hurt him. "My lovely son here, is very grumpy and in watching him I didn't even see you there," John looked down innocently before gazing back up

at the man.

"It's fine, I have a nephew of my own and he can be the same way, he's a cute kid though, yours too. What's your name little man?" I smiled and looked down at John

expectantly. He didn't say anything only scoffed and gawked. I looked back at my new gorgeous associate, embarrassed for myself. I wonder if he thought I was a bad parent.

"This is John," I said shaking Johns little hand, he was in so much trouble later on.

"Sup' John," he nodded his head in an upward motion and I could've sworn John rolled his eyes. The thought made me smile. "I'm Zachary Holden, but you can call me Zach,

both of you," He said turning his attention towards me. "And what do they call you?"

"I'm Amy Jurgens. Excuse me if this sounds rude, but I've never seen you around here before, you must be new," He chuckled and rubbed his hand across his face.

"Um no, I'm from California, just far, far away from here. I decided to leave my parents house and get a place on my own. With all do respect I come to this park every week

and I've never seen you here, are you new?" I laughed and John pulled my hand, I glanced down at him. Oh, now he was ready to go.

"Nope, I've lived here forever. When I graduated I decided to go to NYU and I come home to visit every once in a while," He rubbed his nose. Zach had tones of nervous

habits. John moved uncontrollably beside me. Zach looked down at him and smiled.

"Well Amy Jurgens, looks like the little one is getting restless, so I'll let you get on with your life while I wallow in the thoughts of not seeing you again," I snickered. He looked

so sincere, so sad. I loved the mock lost puppy dog look on his face.

"You might, you never know what could happen in the next few days. Maybe I'll see you here again, maybe you won't. Besides, how do you know that I'm not married or with

my sons father," That made my heartache slightly. Zach chuckled again.

"Trust me, I know. No man would let you out of his sight and also you don't have a wedding ring on. I'm a very observant person," He smiled and pushed my hair behind my

ears. I smiled like some giddy teenage girl. _Knock it off Amy. _

"Let's go mommy," John tugged on my hand trying to pull me. Waving him off I put my attention back on Zach. "Come on I'm tired,"

"In a minute John. Sorry Zachary, I wish I could stay and chat longer, but the child says he's tired so we have to go. It was nice meeting you," I said waving before picking up

John in my arms and beginning to walk off. "You should call me sometime in the near future, before I leave for New York," I kept my back to him as I smirked to myself.

"Wait how am I supposed to call if you never gave me your number?" I chuckled and kept walking.

"If you really want to call me, you'll find away to get my number, remember you have my last name. You can find anything or anyone with just their last name," I tried to

sound seductive and flirty but I couldn't do anything with John rustling around in my arms. I would thank him later thought, because if it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have

met Zach. Maybe this was the beginning of something new for me.

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><p>What'd you think guys let me know in reviews. Thanks for reading!<p> 


	5. Coming Home

*****All secret life characters belong to Brenda Hampton there is no intention of stealing her story here, just pure fun….**

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> First off I would like to apologize for not posting another chapter to at least one of my stories sooner. May has been a busy month for me, between senior night, graduation practices and graduation, along with senior exams, it's been rough (Proud High School Graduate Now WOO HOO!). I can honestly say that I have been super tired and busy, so once again I apologize. So without further a due, here's the new chapter to "Call it a New Story".

**Amy's PoV**

Am I wrong to want to be happy? I mean, I've sacrificed so much, been through so much, didn't I deserve this. It wasn't like I was getting married or anything, it just felt so

nice to have attention, to be flirtatious again. Zach, he seemed like he was a really nice guy, well, I thought so, I don't know about John. The time that we'd spent talking, it

made me feel human again. It made me feel like my life wasn't the same routine. Zach was a welcomed surprise.

It hadn't taken him long to look up my parents home number in the phone book and get in touch with me. I smiled at the hassle he probably went through with my dad. He

didn't mention anything about it when we spoke, but I knew by a comment that he'd made. Zach was a really sweet guy, I could tell that he was laid back and that he loved

his nephew like his own. Zach and I shared more than a few laughs, I hadn't laughed like that in a while. We decided to meet up tomorrow, the day before I left for New York.

God I was nervous. It felt like my very first date, like I was back in high school. I was giddy for the rest of the day, jumping around and dancing. Ashley gave me these odd

looks before walking away and telling John that I was insane. My mother had come over from her apartment to see me off a day early since she had to fly out of state for her

job. I told her about Zach and I think she was happier than I was if that were possible. I hadn't gotten around to telling my dad yet, but I would have to seeing as he was

going to be my babysitter.

My plan was to tell him and John right before he went to sleep, or when he was watching a game on television or something, then, he wouldn't really know what he was

agreeing to. I'd learned how to be sneaky over the past few years, especially my rebellious stage after that whole Ricky leaving ordeal. That was a horrible time; I did things

that I probably never should've done, things that risked my life _and_ my well being.

I cringed at the terrible memories that would make even Lindsey Lohan shun me. I'd reached a low that I promised myself I would never reach again. Thank God it was a

phase and I had a support system that never gave up on me, most people don't have that. Rolling the bad memories off me, I went to my luggage to try and find an outfit. I

didn't really bring clothes to go out in, but lately I'd been known to throw things together. My wardrobe had strayed from my once colorful clothes to a more earth tone look.

Yeah, I know pathetic. Sighing, I threw the clothes down.

I looked towards my closet doors and it was as though a light bulb went off at the top of my head. Maybe there was something there I could wear, I admit that I'd put on

maybe a couple pounds, but I should still be able to fit something in there. As I slowly walked to the door, I prayed that I could fit a few of the old clothes. My bare feet

stepped on the plush rug in my closet and I realized that these clothes were from a more joyful time. I smiled.

Thrashing through the clothes that were hanging on the hangers, I looked long and hard for something appropriate and something that wouldn't make me look like a

teenager. God was working in my favor today, the perfect outfit landed on the floor beside me. A deep blue long sleeved plain Hollister shirt was on the floor and I picked it up

grinning. A black mini skirt with ruffles stood in my line of view and I snatched it away from the hanger. This was such a wonderful day.

Throwing the clothes on the bed in my room, I went downstairs to find my dad sitting on the couch with John watching television, perfect. I spoke in my innocent daughter

voice that worked so well before I got pregnant with John my freshman year.

"Daddy?" I said from behind him, he heard me, I could tell by the twitch of his head. He wanted to turn around but he didn't want to miss anything. "I'm going out tomorrow

and I was wondering if you could watch John for me," I fiddled my fingers and bit my lip, two of my many nervous gestures.

"Sure that's fine honey, I'd be honored," he said not looking at me. Okay so maybe I didn't tell him the whole truth, but I was a grown woman, I didn't really need his

permission, only for him to watch his grandson. I ran back up the stairs before he caught on or asked further questions.

"That was smooth sis," Ashley said as I entered my room. She was sitting on my bed putting up some of John's toys. "I heard about your little date tomorrow, mom told me.

You know dad's going to throw a fit," She smiled in my direction and I rolled my eyes at the coming future, my dad giving Zach the death stare and all.

"I know, but hey, he's going to have to realize that I'm an adult," I plopped down on the bed and laid my head on the soft pillow. Ashley snickered.

"If he didn't realize it when you were a sophomore repeating 'I'm and adult' everyday of everyone's life, he's not going to realize it now," I laughed at the memory. I definitely

remembered telling everyone that I was an adult; I was _far_ from it then. I barely knew what responsibility was.

"I can't believe I used to be like that Ash. How naïve of me, no wonder you used to hate me _so_ much, I was a brat," I said looking at her. She smiled lightly at me and I

returned it.

"I didn't hate you Amy, I never hated you. I was just… jealous," I leaned up on my elbows. Ashley didn't look at me. After a while, she finally looked up and caught me staring

at her. "What? I was,"

"Why? There was nothing to be jealous about. My life was a soap opera," Ashley shrugged her shoulders.

"Amy even if you think your life was horrible, it wasn't. Everyone loved you, even after you got pregnant. You had the guy, two guys actually who loved you and would do

anything for you. Even when Ricky was being an ass while you were pregnant, I knew, I could tell that you two had feelings for each other. And Ben, oh my god, he would've

taken a bullet for _you_, even _after_ he wound up with _Adrian_. You were just the right amount of popular, you were smart," She rattled off.

"Ashley, that's nothing to be jealous over,"

"Yes, Amy, it was. I wanted that, I wanted everything you had, you were the one who made the mistake and you still got all the attention. I did _everything_ right, even

finished school early and no one cared. You were the star sibling and don't get me wrong, I'm not holding that over you, and it was in the past, I don't feel that way anymore,"

I could hear the sincerity in her voice. Her eyes roamed the room and I could see her twitch out of nervousness.

"Ashley, I don't know what to say. I never meant to make you feel that way; I wish I could just go back and change everything. I wish we would've had a better relationship, I

wish I could've been a better big sister," I was standing now, going over to my sister, the one that I'd had a hand in hurting.

"That's just it Amy, you were a great sister, it was just me. Whenever you tried to help me, I shot you down. I wanted you to hurt like I did; I wanted you to have a low self

esteem like mine. I used think that you didn't deserve to be so happy, but when I saw how hurt you actually were, it was too late. Now, I feel like I've jinxed you, that's why

I'm always imprisoned in this house all the time. I'm afraid of the real world, I'm afraid that because I tried to hurt you so much, Karma is going to eat me alive," I wrapped

my arms around my sister and hugged her tightly.

"Ashley, nothing that happened to me is your fault, it's no one's fault. I've learned not to make excuses for the things that happened to me, they just happened, it's a part of

life. Life comes with the good and the bad and sometimes, you just have to take it how it is," She was still wrapped in my arms. "Ashley, I know I've never really told you this,

but I love you kid, no matter what I've suffered, or you've suffered. I love you, I always will," We stood like that for a while. We didn't speak only embraced the words of one

another that had just been shared. A small tear escaped my eye, one of relief _and _happiness. My sister and I were finally passed the animosity towards each other and had I

not been so caught up in self, this could've been done sooner.

**Grace's PoV**

I stood in front of my doorstep, in front of the place that I used to call home. It had been a while since I'd seen this place, nothing's changed. It's still the same color,

there's still a small birdhouse outside the door. I looked around at where I'd grown up, a smile graced my lips. I missed this place.

I didn't know whether to knock or use my key, if it still worked. Deciding to not risk it, I knocked. I could hear a light pattering of feet coming towards me from the other side

of the door. Was I ready for this? I thought I was, on the way over here, but now I'm not so sure of myself. Getting the feeling to turn and run away, I planted my feet to the

pebbles. What would my mother say when she saw me? What would I saw when I saw her? I looked down at the twisting door knob, I frozen in place; I could hear my heart

pounding in my ears.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, my mother opened the door, stared at me, and then she cried. I only stood there staring at her. I didn't know what to do. She

looked back up at me and pulled me into her arms. I dropped all my bags on the ground and let her embrace me.

"Oh God Grace I'm _so sorry_," She squeezed me tighter. I could get used to her hugging me like this. It's been forever since I've had a hug filled with so much love.

"Its okay mom, I'm sorry too," I croaked out through my shaky voice. The tears overcame me like a tsunami. That was all I could say, I'm sorry, because I was sorry for

everything that I'd done. I was a brat, a bitch. After my dad died I just lost all control, spiraled out of the air like a crashing plane. There were a thousand excuses I could've

used but I wouldn't.

"Come on, come on, let's go inside, and then we can talk," She pulled away from me and looked at me, then smiled while pulling me into the door. I barely got to pick up my

bags and bring them in.

My mother sat down at the table and I followed suit. We stared at one another for a while, everything that I wanted to say passed through our eyes. I didn't have the nerve

to open up my mouth and speak everything I had on my heart, not yet, because a part of me was still angry, ashamed and frustrated, not with her, with myself.

"Do you want something to eat or something? I could go fix us a small snack," she began to get up, but I touched her arm. She looked at my hand and placed her own on top

of mine.

"Mom, no, we need to talk, about… about a lot of things that have happened since I've been gone," I knew that I sounded a little too serious. My mother was hesitant. She

looked away from me and to the floor. She didn't want to have this conversation, neither did I.

"Not now Grace, can't we just enjoy each other, I don't want you to leave me again," I sighed sadly and looked away.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying her mom. I couldn't bear to leave again. I missed you so much, but we have to get passed our issues with each other. We need to do

this now, I think five years was a long enough wait," She nodded her head in agreement. I let her arm go and placed my hand on the table with the other one. There was a

pause in the air, a small amount of anxiety and tension building. She didn't want to start, so I did. "Did you ever look for me?" That's one thing that I did have to know. I

spent all those years gone and every day, I looked for a CNN report or a missing persons show, maybe even a lifetime movie, but nothing, not even a poster. She shook her

head and looked me in the eye.

"Grace, I was so angry with you. I was angry that you did all those things to yourself; a part of me didn't want you to comeback because you made me stress. There was a

battle that was going on inside of me and after it ended, I broke down, I couldn't take it anymore. Then, you'd turned eighteen and I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to.

The police wouldn't help me because you were old enough to be on your own, you had become legal," She looked away. She was right, I wouldn't have come home, but

maybe if she would've tried I would've gotten a message to her. Would I have?

"I'm not angry with you for that, I understand. I realized that I had to do some things myself, me and you; we had so much shi- stuff going on. We had our own little

problems, mom, we hurt one another, I couldn't allow you to help me. You would've only brought me down, back then anyway. I'm sorry that I disappointed you because I

know that's what I did, you can't deny it, I disappointed everyone," Everyone.

"Yes, I admit that you disappointed me Grace, but it was my fault. I never should've let you have sex because let's face it, that's where it all began, that day I gave you

permission to abuse what God gave married people as a gift. I knew better, but you were a teenager and I thought we'd taught you so well. It was my fault, everything was,"

She breathed in deeply. It wasn't her fault it was no one's fault but my own, I needed and wanted to make that clear. I touched her hand.

"Mother, it is my fault, I knew consequences, all the bad things, all of it was me, not you. I can't blame everyone for my mistakes, it was my entire fault. You need to believe

that, you need to," She dropped her head into the palm of her hands and cried. I joined her.

"I should've looked after your well being. The whole abortion situation, you shouldn't have gone through that, especially as a child. It was and is my job to take care of you

and I'm not even doing that, I feel like such a bad mother," She stated through her weeping. It's going to take her a while to realize that there was nothing she could have

done. Then, I loved how rebellious I was, I loved to take all those risks, I loved sex. Sex is an enjoyable thing and I didn't feel guilty about doing it, I only felt guilty about who

I hurt in the process of my stupid mistakes.

Adrian, she was my best friend and I'd been the reason that she wasn't anymore. I'd blamed her for what I had become, but it wasn't her. I knew what I was doing. Grant.

He and I could've been something. Amy, she was always nice to me and the first time that she was vulnerable, and weak, I tried to take advantage of Ricky. All the things I'd

done were shameful; I was nothing but a joke. All of the people who cared for me, I pushed them away and they hated me, I would hate me to.

Somehow, I needed to make it right, I had to fix it. I needed to apologize to them, to all of them, not because it would set my conscience right, but because it was the right

thing to do.

**Adrian PoV**

I knew it; I knew it, damn that Ricky Underwood. I told him this would happen. The woman that he truly loves is moving on with her life, tired of waiting, giving up hope. I

didn't blame her, I should've told her to move on with her life a long time ago, should've set her up with someone, but I leaned on the hope that Ricky would come back

myself. Now, she was getting ready to go on her first date in years. I was happy for her and not at all upset for Ricky. This is what he gets for being an ass. Now, this Zach

guy was taking his place.

Amy seemed so happy when she was telling me about him on the phone; I could hear the enthusiasm leaking from her lips. She even squealed once or twice which made

me laugh. During our conversation, she didn't mention any second thoughts about her date because of Ricky which made me proud of her. It was as though he didn't even

exist anymore. Well, I wouldn't be the one to tell him, I was going to let Amy be happy. I didn't want Ricky to go back to her just so he could build her hopes up again and

then make her miserable. Adrian Lee would _not_ be the one to give false hope to either of them, not anymore. Amy deserved this and I was going to be the supportive best

friend that I was supposed to be.

Doing that started with me cutting Ricky off. I wouldn't give him any more information. He would have to get it himself, get his butt off that high horse- or whore- and get

down here or to New York. I don't know how welcomed he would be at either place but he was going to have to put in some sort of effort by his lonesome.

There was a knock at my door, my baby was home. I put a smile on my face and placed my books on the coffee table in front of me. Hearing a giggle from outside my door,

I was anxious to see her. Opening the door, my smile quickly fell from my face and turned into a scowl. Dylan. That _slut_ was holding my baby and Ben was letting her, he was

more of an idiot than I thought. They all noticed my face and Ben didn't look to happy anymore, more nervous than anything. Dylan grinned like she was winning or

something. Holding out my arms, she placed Avery in them, and then invited herself into my house. Well, there went my good day.

Ben scooted passed me without giving me a second look. I slammed the door shut, on purpose, and put Avery down, leading her into her room where I wanted her to be.

She didn't need to hear me cursing out her dad and future stepmom. Ben held Avery's bag tight in his hand, clutching it for dear life. I could hear footsteps behind me as I

walked and when Avery dropped into her room, I dropped into mine, where Ben threw her things on the bed.

"Don't ever let her hold my baby again Benjamin," I kept my back to him, I didn't like that I was about to cry, not over something that I used to think was so petty. Now I

knew how Amy felt when I'd held John, when she and I weren't getting along so well. God it was a horrible feeling, it was like someone was trying to take over, trying to raise

your baby for you.

"What's the big deal Adrian, she only carried her from the car to the door," Yeah maybe to you.

"The big deal is that she is my daughter not hers. If she wants a baby to hold give her one, but Avery is mine. Besides, she only did it to get under my skin, she knew I would

be angry," I was borderline yelling. I felt like pulling my hair from my scalp, she knew I would react with viciousness. "Imagine that I had a boyfriend who came over and

picked Avery up and played with her, like he was her dad or something. How would that make you feel Ben Boykewich?" I turned around and he was shrugging his shoulders

like he didn't care. He would care, he would just have to be in that situation, and well maybe I could make him see it sooner than he thought.

"It wouldn't be that serious to me, because I'm not insecure about my daughters love for me," I gave him a look of disbelief, who did he think I was? Dylan must have put

that shit in his head.

"How dare you? How dare you think I'm insecure of our daughters love for me? I can't believe you would say that to me. Why would I be insecure about her love for _me_?" Now

I was yelling and I didn't care who heard me. Think what you want of me, but I would not stand accused of being some insecure sad sap.

"Because, you know that she and Dylan are finally bonding and maybe she cares for Dylan more because she actually does things for her, she buys things for her, takes her

out," Angry tears spilled from my eyes. He had this haughty look on his face and I slapped it off. I couldn't help myself, he deserved that.

"God Ben, what do you expect me to do? I'm in school and the job I have barely pays for anything but these fuckin' bills what am I supposed to do? I'm a single mother, in

school, I'm trying to provide all I can for her, but everything she gets can't be luxurious. I'm sorry that you think I'm a horrible mother. I'm sorry for trying to do better for

myself so I can do better for her," Now I was crying profusely. Glancing at the door, I could see Avery there staring at me in amazement, she'd never seen me cry before. I let

her watch, a part of me wanted her to see the hurt I was receiving from her father, and the other part of me didn't want her to witness this at all.

"What about the money I give to you? The money I gave to her, do you spend that on yourself, to buy all these things. All your tight clothing, all your needs, do you put

yourself before her?" He had the nerve to be fussing at me. I was not the bad guy here; he was talking down to me, talking like I didn't take care for our daughter. Yeah, that

made me cry even harder.

"I get her what she needs, not what she wants, I can't really afford all that and pay my tuition," Then I realized. "I don't have to explain anything to you; I don't have to

justify a damn thing. How could you just come in here and hurt my feelings like this Ben, like I'm just some slut that had your baby," He made a grumble and I smacked him

again. Wiping at my tears, I could still see my baby standing there watching me. She was crying to and she made a small noise, Ben turned around and saw her. Avery gave

him an ugly look and ran towards me to hug my waist. I rubbed the top of her head. I squatted down to her level. "It's okay baby stop crying, sshh, stop crying Ava," I kissed

her forehead and looked back up at Ben, who looked annoyed, like I'd made her cry. Ben turned and walked away, not fair, he didn't get to walk away from this, not this time.

I followed him out just as I saw him grabbing Dylan's hand, motioning for her to get up so she could leave. Once again, I swiped over the liquid coming from eyes.

"Don't walk away from this Ben. Say what you have to say to me, don't be a coward. Tell me, tell me that I'm the problem, tell me I'm the reason that your life isn't perfect

like it was supposed to be. I'm the reason why you lost the first girl you loved, I'm the reason that you didn't get to go all those places with your friends, those parties, just

because of some whore who had your baby," My tears were falling again, I was pissed off and hurt at the same time. Ben turned to look at me, with an indecisive look on his

face. Dylan stared at me with confusion and awe. She'd always known me as the bitch, the mean girl. I guess she'd heard me loud in clear a few moments ago.

"I don't think that Adrian, not all the time," He let go of Dylan's hand and folded his arms across his chest.

"Ben," Dylan said in shock. I'd expected her to laugh at my pain. Maybe she wasn't as bad as I thought.

"No Dylan, it's okay, Adrian already knows this, she's just making a scene, always wants to be the _center_ of attention," Was this kid for real? I sniffed up the snot that was on

the edge of dripping from my nose. I hadn't cried like this since I was a child. I put my hand over my heart and then let it fall again.

"If I had the strength to move from this spot, I swear they would be able to get fingerprints off your face, you bastard," He smiled like this was some game.

"Stop being such a drama queen Adrian and just get over yourself. Admit your mistake and move on," There was an accusation there that angered me further. "And no, I'm

not saying Avery is a mistake, I can see that that's what you thought I was saying. I can read you like an open book. Now wipe the tears, pick yourself up and move on. You

brought all of this on yourself. You thought so much of yourself in high school, look at where you are. You were the school slut, what did you expect?" Damn that really hurt,

killed something inside of me. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything, so I just stood there and watched him walk out. There wasn't even a look of sympathy on his face, no

apology or anything. Dylan stood there staring at me like I was some sort of freak show. I leaned against the wall and slid down until my knees where in my chest. Dylan

walked over to me and I didn't give her one of my death glares.

"Adrian, I'm sorry for what he said, I'm sure he didn't mean it. Ben has been worked up and stressed, it's just work that's all," She touched my hand and I let her, surprising

myself and Dylan.

"I always thought it was you," I looked up at her and she gaped at me in confusion. "I was in denial, thinking it was you that hated me, letting my mind think that you were

the one giving me dirty looks and snide comments, but it was him. He hates me, he hates me because I ruined his life," I cried harder, it was more like wailing. Dylan

wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. "What did I do Dylan? He'll never love me again, he never loved me in the first place, I was an obligation, and I still am. I'm so

sorry that I was so mean to you," Dylan pulled back from me and shook her head.

"You were only protecting what you thought I was stealing from you and I'm sorry for making you feel like I was going to take her," I hated admitting I was wrong, but I

definitely _was_ this time. I should've realized all of this a couple years ago. He hated me, so I would hate him to and I would do everything I could to hurt him. "Adrian, I have

to go okay, but if you need me, please don't hesitate to call. I'll get your number from Ben's phone and text you so you can save my number okay?" I nodded my head. Dylan

got up and headed towards the door. I found the strength to stand up.

"Dylan?" She looked back at me and gave me a sad smile. "Tell Ben- Tell Ben that I don't ever want to see him again. Tell him to stay away from me and my daughter, he's

not allowed to see her either, I don't care if he goes to court or not. Tell him I said he was wrong." She shook her head, I hated sending messengers, but I couldn't look at

Ben, not right now. "I don't need him anymore," I walked back towards my room to check on Avery and I heard my front door shut with ease.

My baby was laying there on my bed with her face buried in my pillow. She was still crying. I pulled it together for her. Sitting beside her on the bed, I pulled her into my lap

and stroked her hair. She buried her face in my shoulders and I could feel the liquid on my shirt.

"Avery it's okay baby, stop crying. Mommy doesn't like seeing you cry, its okay, nothing's wrong," I rocked her while she was still in my embrace trying to calm her down.

"I hate him too mommy, I hate him for making you cry," She looked at me before crying again even harder. I didn't want her to hate him, he was her father.

"No Avery, you don't hate him, don't say that. We just had a disagreement that's all. You don't hate him," She calmed down a little and sniffed while wiping her tears on my

shirt.

"But he hurt you mommy, I don't like when you get hurt. I hurt you too didn't I? That's why you and daddy were fighting wasn't it? Is it my fault because I let Dylan hold me,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry," She wiped my face as a lone tear escaped. She was so much like me when I was younger. She was not at fault for anything and neither was I.

"No baby, why would you think that? None of this is your fault, you're a sweet girl and none of this is your fault. We're just stupid adults, that's all. This is nothing for you to

be worried about okay?" She didn't make a move. "Okay Ava?" She nodded her head and kissed both my cheeks and my nose. I smiled at her.

"Three to make you feel much better mommy," I smiled even harder, I could always depend on her to make me feel better, but nothing could really fix how much pain I was

in right now.

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><p>So what did you guys think of this chapter? Were you surprised at Ben? Do you think Amy should forget Ricky? Look for Zach to be a major character doing big things for<p>

Amy. Give me some feedback please….


	6. Same Ole Story

*****Secret life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton. She owns all characters in the show. **

**A/N: Chapter is shorter than the last but sometimes you just know where you need to end a chapter. Okay I'm done, go ahead and read!**

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><p><strong>Ben's PoV<strong>

Dylan wasn't speaking to me. She said that I'd been harsh to Adrian, that I had been an asshole. She threatened to call off our engagement. I hadn't meant to say those things to Adrian; I don't know what came over me. Maybe, I was just angry, pissed off at myself. Adrian had been so distant from me these past couple weeks and I hated it. I figured she was trying to move on from me, thought she already had and I hated being shoved aside. In my heart, I knew that we didn't belong together, but I didn't want her to be with anyone else. I don't love her, I love Dylan. I hate that my heart tries to tug me back and forth, it was hell.

Adrian and I had a connection, a bond in the form of our 5-year-old daughter. Now, she didn't even want me to see Avery, could I blame her? I'd nearly called her a whore in front of her. That realization made me feel even more like an ass. I'd managed to hurt the three most important people in my life in one day, what a record. I was a moron.

I know that I have to fix this somehow, but I knew that it would be a challenge. Adrian hates me now and I know how vengeful she is. She would do everything in her power to hurt me like I'd hurt her. God, what is wrong with me?

My phone rang beside me on my nightstand, sighing, I grabbed it hoping that it was Adrian or even Dylan. Neither of them was speaking to me, I wouldn't either. I slide the "answer call" bar that was on my screen to the right without really looking at the number. To my disappointment, the voice wasn't feminine at all. I was tempted to hang up if I knew the person on the other end wouldn't call back asking why I'd hanged up in his face. Rubbing my hand down in my face I listened as the caller on the other line rambled angrily.

"What the hell is going on down there? No one is answering the damn phone? Is John okay, is Amy okay? Adrian told me they'd come to visit. What's going on?" For someone trying to get away from this place, Ricky sure did have a knack for knowing what's going on down here, especially when Amy Jurgens was involved. This whole act of his was annoying and I really wasn't in the mood to lose another friend, so I tried to control my tone when I spoke.

"Everything is fine Ricky. Adrian isn't really talking to anyone right now," Well, she wasn't talking to me, everyone else I'm not so sure. I heard Ricky sigh relief.

"Why? What's up with her?" I didn't answer. I should've known that he would ask why she wasn't talking to anyone. What do I tell him? Do I lie?

"I don't know Ricky, you know how Adrian is," I tried to throw in a real chuckle, but it didn't happen the way I wanted it to. Hopefully he didn't catch on to that. "She has her moods," He was silent on the other end for a pretty long while.

"Ben," he grumbled, "what did you do this time? Adrian isn't really the moody type of girl so either she's pregnant or you did something stupid," Well it wasn't the first one. I'm going to be beating myself up over this for months and then some. "Ben?" Ricky said bringing my attention back to our conversation.

"Okay so maybe it was my fault. Maybe I did some things,"

"Like?"

"Things that would hurt girl's feelings and make her cry and hate me and deny me the right to see our daughter," He cursed under his breath on the other end of the line.

"What did you do push her mother off a building? Jesus Ben," Yeah, 'Jesus Ben' was right. I may as well have pushed her mother off a building, that's what I felt like I did. Then I felt like someone should maybe push _me_ off the Empire State building.

"No, not that, though that wouldn't have been as bad. In her own words I called her a slut, then I inadvertently agreed with her that she ruined my life," There was another pause. Ricky was letting it sync in, probably trying to play it out in his head.

"So you called your daughters mother a slut and then said she ruined your life?" He asked slowly. What didn't he get about it? It wasn't that hard to understand.

"I didn't say it, she did. I just didn't correct her. I was angry, not at her… look Ricky a lot of things are going on with me. Some days, I think that maybe I'm making a mistake being with Dylan then I push it away and I'm okay. Then, I see Avery, she looks so much like Adrian and she has her same fire, that's enough to make me think that I love Adrian for giving me something so sweet and precious," That was a relief to get off my chest.

"So, you insult the woman you think you love, and you suppose that's going to help how?" He asked with accusation in his voice.

"It didn't really help anything and if it's all the same to you, I don't really want to talk about it. Can we just stray from this conversation forever?" I didn't really mean it to be a question.

"Yeah, its whatever, I didn't call for all that anyway, but a piece of advice, you might want to get things right with Adrian," He was going to give me advice, well, I was going to give him advice too.

"A piece of advice to you too my friend, call Amy, get things right with her too, before it's too late. You have time to get it right Ricky, I'm not saying marry her, but fix it," I knew he was listening to me. He murmured something incoherent into the phone. He knew I was right about. We both deserved to be in the doghouse permanently for what we've done to the mothers of our children.

"Let's not get on that subject either Ben," I shrugged my shoulders. "Anyway, I was wondering, me and you, we're close right?" I nodded my head; sure we bonded in high school before he took off. Plus, I'd asked him to be my best man so that proved it all right there. Ricky continued to talk. "Me and this girl, we've been together a while and I was thinking we could come over and visit everyone. I want her to meet my parents, she's amazing Ben, and I would've done it on a whim, but she doesn't know too much about what's going on," Ricky rambled out without taking a breath. I smiled slightly at hearing his nervousness; he'd never been the nervous type before. Then I had to look at the reality of his words.

"Ricky, do you really think that's a good idea? You'll be crucified if you come back to California. Everyone probably hates your guts comrade, just so you know," He sighed defeated. This shouldn't have been new information for him. Any smart person would know that the way he left, that there would be no forgiveness, no mercy.

"I was afraid of that, but I don't want to hide out forever. I'm tired of phone calls; I want to see everybody again, before your wedding. That way, it won't be such a shock and all the attention won't be on me and Rachel," I laughed at his ignorance. He would be offended but I couldn't help myself. Ricky had lost some of his intellect since he'd been gone.

"It may not be a safe idea for you to bring some anonymous chick up here that you've been screwing or fallen in love with. You skipped out on Amy, and everyone- and I do mean everyone- loved her. Suit yourself though, if you feel that it would be safe for you and that Rachel girl, _suit yourself_, but I won't help when the pitch forks come flying at you," I could hear him breathing evenly on the other end of the line. "You're going to have to do it someday Ricky so you may as well get it over with, so everyone can get over it. Though you better hope that Amy and John aren't here when you come, because you definitely would be slaughtered," Amy was known for her madness the last couple of years of high school. She was an angry little thing, annoyed, irritated at the world. Well, she had been dealt a bad hand.

"When does she visit?" I silently cackled at the dread in his voice.

"I don't know, it varies all the time. Although it doesn't change that she comes every month, well it hadn't until a couple months ago," I would love to see the scene when they finally got together. I wouldn't know whether to be horrified or depressed, they were both my friends, even though Amy doesn't really keep in touch with me, we talk every once in a while. She mostly kept in touch with Adrian. Oh God, Adrian would tell her what happened and that would be the end of me. If she and Amy were upset at the same time it would scare even Satan himself away. My mood was dead again. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

**Amy's PoV**

Zach picked me up around eight o'clock and after all my dad's questions; I thought that he would leave without me. I was so embarrassed, but Zach seemed amused, he had handled George Jurgens pretty well, like no other. It made me have a new wave of respect for him.

He'd been a gentleman all night, opening every door for me, pulling out my chair for me. I smiled the whole date. He took me out to a small café that I hadn't heard of before; it was a town away from where I lived. I'm glad that we hadn't gone to some expensive place or some private place. If Zach Holden turned out to be a psycho, I didn't want to be alone with him. Although he didn't seem crazy, just somewhat tense, he tried to hide it.

Now, we were sitting on the beach, it was pretty cliché, but it was very romantic. I'd always loved being on the beach, it made me feel free. I loved how the sound of the waves crashing into the shore soothed me, relaxed me. The sand under my feet caused an imbalance within me, and I loved the feeling of falling into no restrictions. Obviously Zach realized that as he chuckled lowly at me. Once or twice tonight, I'd caught him staring at me, it wasn't a creepy stare. It was like he was trying to reach into my soul with his round blue eyes. The thought of that made my heart race uncontrollably.

"So, Zachary, what is that you want out of life, you obviously didn't like the whole business thing, or the doctor thing for that matter?" I brought up some of the things we discussed early tonight as we sat down on the cold sand. I balled my knees up into my chest and positioned my arms where I could lay my head on them to look at Zach.

Zach looked up to the sky like he was thinking of the right thing to say. The question was a little personal, but we were trying to get to know each other.

"Honestly, I don't know. Right now, I'm finishing up law school, when I finally pass the bar, I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean I know the lawyer thing is my thing because I _love_ to argue," He smiled at me and I smiled back. He didn't seem like the arguing type, but I guess I was just getting to know him.

"That's all good, but I asked you what you wanted out of life," He scooted closer to me and I could smell that wonderful Calvin Klein cologne he wore. Small chill bumps rose on my body. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I want- I want what life wants for me I guess. What about you Amy Jurgens? What do you want?" To be free. To be happy. To let go of the past. Zach looked at me intently. I hadn't meant for the conversation to turn on me.

"To erase all the bad things that have happened to me," There was silence, it was comfortable. I looked out at the ocean. I continued to talk. "I want life to finally do something good for me you know? Zach, I used to be this innocent, happy girl and then it was all ripped away from me in an instant, before my life started," I heard him breathe in sharply. His eyes were on me, I could feel his gaze. _Please don't ask me about what happened. _My finger twitched. I had opened the door for him to get personal. I didn't want him to. I didn't need him running away from me.

"Sometimes life tears us down to build us back up again, to be better and stronger as a person," He said sincerely. I looked at him and smiled to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.

"Oh just from Zach's big book of amazing things to say," He smirked and I laughed at him.

"You're so adorable," I said tousling his hair playfully.

"Right back at cha', but don't let that go to your head. I don't want you to start thinking you're the hottest girl around or something," he said standing up. I opened my mouth in shock as he looked back at me and winked. I shivered. I stood up beside him and he outstretched his arm offering me his hand. I took it eagerly. "Want to go in the water?" He asked nodding his head towards the ocean. I could see the playful look in his eyes, I'd come to find out that he was quite the jokester.

I looked down at my outfit then at the ocean, then at him with an "are you serious" look on my face. "Umm in this, I don't think so. I am not about to freeze my ass off, maybe another time," I tried to walk off, pulling him with me, but he pulled me back gently.

"Come on, you can always strip down," he smirked and I gave him a sideways glance. "Oh, too early for me to see you naked?" I rolled my eyes and walked off with him in tow; it was a success this time. "Wow, you're quite the fun sucker, Jurgens," he snickered and I ignored him. No, I just had more sense than he thought. Even in the middle of February it was still cold.

"I am not a fun sucker, I just have to get home," As much as I hate to leave. "I'm still a mother you know. I have a six-year-old to take care of who can be quite a pain this time of night, especially when my dad feeds him sweets all night long, which is probably what's happening," Zach laughed whole-heartedly. Fine, I would let him see John hyper; it was like he was on speed or something. Zach pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around me. My heart pounded in my ears.

"Aw but we're having so much fun, getting to know each other and all," He was trying to joke, but failed miserably, he was serious.

"I know, I know, but I have to go, I'm sorry. We'll do it again when I come back," He stopped me dead in my tracks.

"How long is that going to be?" He asked quickly.

"I don't know maybe next month, maybe when I get out of school," I looked up at him and I could see him cringing. He wanted me to stay, I have a reason to stay now, but I couldn't. I have to finish school. "You don't have to wait,"

"I want to," he said dangerously fast. Really? Did he really want to wait on me? We just met each other. Although we did have this thing between us, it was hard to explain, but it was something.

I didn't comment, just nodded and began walking again, until we got to his car. There was a girl standing there and she looked really upset. I heard Zach take a sharp intake of air, oh God, life was at it again, throwing me curveballs.

**Rachel's PoV**

My body was livid as I sat on the couch facing Ricky. I didn't know what to expect, but I could tell by his expression that something was eating him from the inside out. He looked as though he was hurting and I realized that I had seen that look before. Ricky would always try to hide it from me. He would go in the bathroom and push me out of his problems. I'd given up on trying figuring out what it was.

I hated that he kept things from me. Even so, I realized that it wasn't my right to now. We weren't married, unfortunately, he didn't have to tell me everything, but I wish he would. I'd long since forgotten about the Adrian thing. I hated being angry with him, I'd told him to stop talking to her and he complied.

"Look Rach, um, we may be going to California a little earlier than you think," I grew giddy inside but I could hear the insecurity in his voice. Suddenly I felt guilty.

"Oh God, why? Did someone die? Ricky, I'm so sorry," I jumped up and wrapped my arms around him. Ricky chuckled lightly, cutting off the sympathy that I felt for him. Unwrapping my arms from around his neck, I looked at him.

"Sit down Rachel, no one's dead," He grabbed my hands gently as I sat down. He wiped the small grin off his face and was back to that somber look. "Some things have happened in my life," he must've seen the wary look on my face. "They happened before you, I promise you that. I would never do anything to jeopardize this relationship you have to believe that," he said. He looked at me waiting for assurance. I nodded my head understandably.

"Yeah, I believe it," I said softly as I held my hands gently in his. I was anxious to hear what he had to say. "So why are we going early, what's up?" I said giving him a small smile and flipping my long blonde hair back.

"Because of the things that have happened in my life before I met you," That made me cringe. He let go of my hands and rubbed his own through his hair, sighing. "I want to take you because I don't want there to be any surprises when we go back in June," I could see the serious look in his eyes.

"Like what?" I asked placing my newly clasped hands in my lap. He was suddenly acting indecisive, as though he wanted to take everything back. I didn't want him to back out of this conversation. I was finally getting somewhere with him obviously, but was I ready for what he was going to tell me. "Ricky?" I asked touching his leg, trying to encourage him without words.

"Like my son," Fuck. Me.

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><p>What a way to end the chapter huh? What do you think Rachel will do now? Is life really throwing Amy a curveball or is she paranoid? R&amp;R Please!<p> 


	7. Truth Will Set You Free

*** **Secret Life of the American Teenagers belongs to Brenda Hampton. All recognizable characters are from she, herself.**

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><p><strong>Authors Note: I apologize for the delay of the chapter. There is no excuse honestly. Read on my fellow fan fictioners, I will not delay you any longer.<strong>

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><p><strong>Rachel's PoV<strong>

So this is what he's been hiding from me, a son. How could I not have seen that? How could he have not told me? I was more upset with myself than I was with Ricky, how did I miss a son? A whole other human being. Ricky touched my hand and I slowly pulled it away. He lied to me, this was no little white lie either, he had a son.

"Excuse me?" I said lightly, not sure if my voice held back the pain that made my heart fall to my feet. If there was a son, then there was another girl, a girl that he cared enough about to have a baby with.

"I have a son Rachel, he's six," I could feel myself zoning out, I brought my thoughts back to the conversation. Had he been stepping out on me, if the child was six then he couldn't have. "He came way before you did Rach," Ricky said reading the look on my face. Adrian, was it her, is that why he'd been talking to her?

"You lied to me Ricky," I said through an exhausting sigh of realization. I gave him a look of disbelief. "You lied to me," I said more to myself.

"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you," There was an odd hint of arrogance behind his words. It was as though I just some stupid girl that didn't matter to him. He was supposed to love me.

"That's called a lie Ricky, especially when it's something like that," I stood up abruptly and stared at him. I couldn't bear to sit down anymore. Ricky shrugged, running his fingers through his hair.

"Rachel, it's not really that serious, I didn't cheat on you, I just didn't know how to tell you, okay? I mean I was going to tell you before, but then, I didn't want you to leave," He said standing up also. I glanced away from him before speaking again.

"Who do you think I am? I wouldn't have just left you like that. I love you Ricky, I would've stayed, but now I'm pissed off," I folded my arms. Ricky stepped towards me and I stepped back.

"You wouldn't have been anymore happier about it then, than you are now and I know that for sure. I didn't think we were going to turn into anything so serious, that's why I didn't tell you," He was right, I would've been angry, and I didn't have the right to know so soon, but after I'd professed my love for him, he should've told me. I sighed.

"Is it Adrian? Is that who you had the baby with? Is that why you two needed to talk, does she want you back?" Ricky did a curt chuckle and I gawked at him. This was no laughing matter. These were things that I needed to know if we were going to continue on this journey together. "I need to know Ricky," I said sitting back down, putting my head in my hands. The couch sank in beside me and I felt arms around me. There was a small sigh beside me.

"No, like I said before, Adrian's just a friend. We keep in touch so she can keep me updated on him. I haven't seen him in five years ," he paused briefly. "His mother, she uh… we don't keep in touch at all," he sounded hurt. I looked over at him and he gave me a small smile. I couldn't mistake the sadness behind his eyes.

"Why not?" I asked curiously, a little relieved. If he didn't keep in touch with her, it meant that he had no excuse for leaving me. "Is she crazy? Did she make you leave?" Ricky sighed and moved closer to me, I didn't move away from him.

"No, she's not crazy per say," he said under his breath. "Things just didn't work out between us. I sort of left her," he said guiltily.

"You left your son, how could you?" There was disgust written all over my words. I'm sure my face showed bemusement at his words.

"Things were happening Rachel, things were changing. I couldn't stay there because I was scared of what I might do," He turned away from me and ran his fingers through his hair. I could hear the distress in his voice. Ricky was hurting. Reaching out, I rubbed his back for comfort.

"That's still no reason Ricky. You should've stayed and stuck it out," He pulled away from me, standing up from the couch.

"You wouldn't understand Rachel," he said before storming out of the house. I hadn't meant to upset him. I should be the one storming out, he was the one that lied to me, not the other way around.

I should've seen this coming, I should've been prepared. I'd known nothing about Ricky, even now, he was so mysterious. I cursed myself for liking all the mystery that came with him.

Sighing, I stood up and closed my eyes. Well, I knew now, there was nothing I could do to change it. However, Ricky needed to see his son, he needed to go back to him. I knew what it was like to grow up fatherless for the first ten years of my life, it didn't feel good. I would have to convince Ricky to go see him, to get in touch with the mother of his child, that was after I finished being jealous of her having his baby.

**Adrian's PoV**

I didn't feel bad for not letting Ben see Avery. He didn't deserve to after the way he made me feel, on top of that, she didn't want to see him. I had asked her if she wanted to see him, but she would always shake her head. She wasn't any different without him, however, I wouldn't deny Ben the right to see his daughter for too much longer. I know that Avery hadn't stopped loving him, she was just angry with him, as angry as a child can be.

I had told Dylan to tell Ben that he wasn't allowed to see Avery, but I didn't think he would really take that. That day, he had hurt me, and I wanted to hurt him, however, I hadn't meant for him to really stop coming around, just to limit his presence. I'd thought about calling him, only thought. I knew that I wasn't over our whole ordeal yet, so I continued on with my life without Ben.

I'd tried telling Amy, but she hasn't been answering her phone lately, it always seemed busy when I called. I refrained from telling my dad because I didn't want him to kill Ben.

I sat on the stool at the cash register in the small clothing store. I'd been off on my game lately, not really feeling up to my usual self. Lauren noticed, I could tell by the way she distanced herself from me. We hadn't really spoken in high school, nothings changed. I knew that she somewhat blamed me for Amy not speaking to she and Madison anymore, but that wasn't my fault. Amy had grown apart from her once best friends, she had been forced to grow up early through all the situations she'd made it through. Lauren and Madison weren't prepared for that.

Lauren would throw snide looks, sometimes she would even try to insult me, but I never let it get me down. It seemed as though I was already as low as I could be.

"Lauren, is it possible that we could switch shifts. I have to get started on a report for school," I asked her when she walked in front of the counter. She stopped abruptly, turning to face me.

"Why would I do that? Don't you know that I'm in college to?" She said in that snooty voice she's always had. How could I forget that she was in college? One of the top colleges, might I add. She reminds everyone, everyday.

"Yes, I know, but you don't have a baby," I said smiling sweetly. It was supposed to sound nicer than that.

"Is that supposed to make me feel sorry for you? It's not my fault you got pregnant," She said snootily. I rolled my eyes and sighed. It always came to this, every argument I got into with her somehow led to us going back to high school.

"You know, you could be a little nicer to me Lauren," I stated while sighing. She gave me a pointed look before leaning on the counter right in front of me.

"Why would I? Adrian you were never nice to me in high school, you weren't nice to anyone. Haven't you heard that karma's a bitch," She had me there. I wasn't really the nicest one walking down the hallways of Grant High School. "And as always, the only time you are nice, is when you need someone to do something for you, then it's back to mean girl version 2.0," Lauren rolled her eyes as I scoffed. Actually, her comment made me look back on a few things, once again, she was right.

"Look, I'm sorry for the things I've said to you Lauren, but, that's who I was then," I shrugged my shoulders.

"No, that's who you still are, you're just more subtle than you used to be," She said standing straight up and putting one hand on her hip. Lauren walked away for a moment to greet a customer who'd just walked into the door. Leaning my head back, I groaned. At this rate, I would never graduate from college. Some days, I regret being such a bitch, I'd longed since burned my bridges.

**Amy's PoV**

The soda that John had given me last night seemed to spew everywhere, my little prankster. I don't know when I'd become one of his dummies, but I wasn't into it. My father was responsible for this new trick that John loved so much. He, my dad, had pulled it on my unsuspecting mother our last day home, and John was a willing learner. I'd told my dad not to teach him, but of course, as soon as I turned my back, he'd taught him. George Jurgens would be receiving a phone call later on today.

Being the paranoid one I am, I threw the rest of the drinks in the refrigerator in the trash can. John had been in the kitchen quite some time last night when were supposed to be watching a movie, I'm sure his task was shaking up all the sodas.

Grabbing the dish towel from the sink, I ran it under the water, wringing it out before wiping up the mess on the counter and the floor. I grumbled as I finished my chore, then pulled off the wet shirt, only leaving myself in a tank top. The chill of the apartment slapped my bare arms. I pulled my hair into a slipknot as I walked to my room and pulled out a fitting white shirt. I could deal with the jeans being wet, they didn't get that much moisture from the explosion of the can.

It was already 3:00, I would be late picking John up, again. My tardiness to the school was becoming a bad habit. Thankfully, there were after school activities for the children, and the teacher had involved John in some of them when I was late. He didn't seem to mind, Mrs. Benton knew the situation at home. When I enrolled him into the elementary school, I told her my circumstances.

Running out of the apartment, the door slammed rattling the walls, I'm sure the neighbors didn't enjoy that. My hair fell out of the knot as I jumped between the doors of the elevator, getting a few odd looks and an equal amount of smiles. I waved at the occupants awkwardly as my cheeks threatened to burn a hole through my face.

"Late again are we Ms. Amy?" Dr. Dinnali asked through her thick Italian accent, pushing a hand through her short hair. I smiled at her lightly and shrugged.

"Just a little Doc," She shook her head and smiled to herself. She'd been a life saver for me on more than one occasion, well, her daughter anyway. John had become attached to Rosalynn Dinnali, his frequent baby sitter when I was working or class was running over. She never complained about him being there, she probably should, because she wasn't getting paid, her mother wouldn't let me pay her. Instead, when I could, I would by her outfits, which Dr. Dinnali had reluctantly agreed upon. "My poor baby must think I don't care about him," I said leaning against the elevator wall with my arms crossed.

"Nah, I doubt it, he never shuts up about you. As of right now, you are the love of his life," Logan Taylor said in that nonchalant voice he usually had. He and I were about the same age, he was actually pretty cute. His hair was jet black and there was a naturally sleepy look to his green eyes. I didn't necessarily know what he did, but he seemed pretty shady, who was I to judge though? Plus, I would never confront him about it, he couldn't be over 150 pounds, but he towered over me. Even so, he was pretty smart, I often went to him when I needed help on a few math equations. I don't understand why he wasn't in school, he had potential.

"As of right now huh Taylor?" I asked playfully raising an eyebrow at him. He looked down at me leisurely with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, until he's twelve and some hot chick comes along, then she'll be the love of his life, until the next chick that is," Dr. Dinnali slapped him on the arm pretty hard. She wasn't a fan of the way he referred to women as chicks. It was the language of our generation, it hadn't really bothered me.

"Thanks a lot Taylor, that makes me feel better," he chuckled pulling gently at my hair. It oddly sent chills through me. Dr. Dinnali rolled her eyes at us before turning back around to face the door. The others on the elevator had stayed quiet, listening in and grumbling at certain point they agreed on.

The ride to the lobby ended abruptly, this is the fastest it ever went down, usually having to go back up when someone hit the button. This building harbored lots of people who were always busy. It was a very classy apartment complex.

The lobby was huge, with it's marble floors and counter tops. There was even a café inside of it, where I usually did my homework, when John was out on play dates or on school trips. Plus it's convenient since I worked there also.

Rushing out of the door, I waved at those who hadn't seemed to realize that I was in a hurry and tried to hold a conversation with me.

XXXXX

I made it to the school, finally, to find that most of the students were outside on the small field. Once I was directed towards John, I saw him sitting with one of his teachers. She held his hand tightly in hers as he looked out onto the field, he didn't quite seem to be listening to her. Stopping momentarily, I rolled my eyes, then continued my journey to my son. His face brightened for a moment, then fell when I didn't return his smile. John's charm wouldn't work today.

"Ah, Ms. Jurgens," Mrs. Benton said letting go of John's hand to shake mine. Her grip was tight.

"Hello Mrs. Benton, may ask why John isn't playing with the other children today?" I asked giving my son a pointed look. He turned his head quickly to stare out into the distance.

"Mr. John has been having a problem with keeping his hands to himself today," she said pausing.

"Oh really? Can you please elaborate," I folded my arms across my chest. From the corner of my eye, I could see John scooting down the small bench, trying to get away from me.

"John isn't a bad student Ms. Jurgens, I just don't know what's been going on with him. He got into a fight with one of the other boys over a toy and he pushed one of our girls to the ground at recess," she said with as much sympathy as she could. I nodded my head.

"John Jurgens, you better not get up from that bench," I said to him as he was just about to get up from his spot. He was evading, stalling so he wouldn't get in trouble. "I'm sorry Mrs. Benton. I don't know what's gotten into him lately," I said beckoning my lovely son to my side. He moved slowly, when he got close enough, I tugged him gently, but hard enough for him to fall into my side. Squatting down, I made eye contact with John. "John apologize to Mrs. Benton for your disturbance of her class, and the lack of disrespect for your peers," he seemed confused on the word peers and disturbance, but I knew he got the gist of what I was saying. He shook his head, slowly with something similar to a smirk. "Are you telling mommy no?" I asked poking him in the side, he winced lightly. That wasn't half of what he was going to get today. We stared at each other for a moment, until he finally caved.

"Sorry," he said quickly, turning back towards me to see if that was good enough. I gave him a knowing look. He groaned. "I'm sorry Mrs. Benton for dis-dis- messing up class and beating up my pears," he said looking up at her with that innocent face he always got when he was trying to be cute.

"It's peers John, pears are fruit," I said smiling to myself. Mrs. Benton nodded before bending over and pulling John into a hug.

"It's okay John," she said letting him go. I gave her a small wave before pulling John along behind me.

We walked out onto the sidewalk, where I picked John up in my arms, he was getting heavier and heavier everyday. The only reason I held him now was because I didn't trust him not to get lost in the sea of New Yorkers. He was silent as we walked along with everyone else. I knew he was afraid of what was to come because he knew that I didn't like when he got into trouble.

"You look beautiful mommy," he said kissing my cheek. I looked down at him through my lashes.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, especially not today mister," he tightened his arms around my neck before kissing me again. I was trying to stop his assault of slobbery kisses when I smacked into a large mass of a body. I looked up ready to apologize and was in a bit of shock when I saw him. "What are you doing here?"

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><p>R&amp;R Please! Looking for more ideas for this story, please send me a PM if you would like to make a suggestion, it will be greatly appreciated. XOXO! J<p> 


	8. Unexpected Calls

**Secret Life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton not me.**

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><p><strong>AN* It's possible that there are some typos, so please forgive me ahead of time.**

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><p><strong>Amy's PoV<strong>

Walking into the house, I pulled he and John in behind me. I can't believe he was here, in New York. Things had went well, but had it really gone that well. I hadn't expected to see him until I made a trip back to California. It was a little odd that he was this drawn to me so fast, creepy even.

"What are you doing here?" I asked sending John into the kitchen as I turned to see a smiling Zach. I gave him a tight smile back, not really feeling the joy. It wasn't because I didn't like him, it was just a shock to find him, well, to run into him in New York.

"You know how you asked me what I wanted to do with my life a couple of nights ago on the phone?" he asked raising his eyebrow at me as I nodded my head yes.

"You want to stalk me?" I asked with a real smile this time. He chuckled as I walked into the kitchen to find John sitting at the table, his homework all ready lain out in front of him. I glanced back at Zach who leaned on the counter. "What do you want to snack on sweetie?" I rubbed John's head as I walked behind him towards the refrigerator and the pantry.

"No, Amy Jurgens, not stalk you, talk about self-centered," he rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. I scoffed at him, playfully.

"Sandwich, chips, cookies, and a soda," he said looking up at me expectantly. I shook my head at him and he huffed. Zach chuckled once more, patting John's head. John pulled away quickly, and then gave him this incredulous look.

"Wow, that's a lot little man. You sure you can handle all that?" Zach asked, showing that charming smile and those cute dimples.

"I don't think so little one, you get a sandwich, a few sun chips, grapes and water," I stated pulling a plate from the cabinet, filling it with the contents that would be John's lunch. Surprisingly, my stubborn son didn't fight the decision I'd made for him. However, I found out why when I looked up to see him and Zach deep into the homework John had. John was on his knees on the chair leaning over the table, Zach stood behind him with his hand on John's shoulder, helping him with math. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

I carried the plate over to the table, dropping it beside John gently. They hadn't seemed to notice me.

"Okay John, you can stop until you're finished with your food," he looked at Zach who nodded his head. A couple of minutes ago, I wasn't even sure John liked him with the way that he'd nearly ripped a hole into Zach with his eyes.

"Since when does he follow your orders?" I asked leaving the kitchen area and walking back into the living room, plopping down on the couch. "Now that, that's done," I said sighing. "Finish what you were saying," I patted the couch, allowing Zach to sit down beside me.

"I'm going to start my law firm, here in New York," he stated. I was a little confused at the new revelation that he just brought before my eyes.

"Okay, don't you think it's early for that seeing as how you haven't passed the bar yet," I asked honestly. Zach sighed heavily. I could tell that he wasn't expecting such a logical response from me.

"Yeah, but I will, I know I will," he declared with no hesitation.

"Zach, I hate to be a killjoy, but honey, it could take you years to pass that test," he looked away from me. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but I'm trying to be realistic for you," I pulled his hand into my own. He grabbed my other with his own.

"My mother was realistic for me, I don't need that from you. I just want you to tell me I can. I'm going to pass that test Amy, and it won't take me years and years, I really want this," he said with semi-smile. Zach had such a wonderful spirit. He had the confidence in himself that I wish I had in myself. I couldn't let my feelings of failure overshadow his dreams and put him in the same place I was in. I cared for Zach, I mean I wasn't madly in love with him, but he was a good guy.

He'd made me feel so good about myself. Whenever were talking on the phone, even when we were out that night before I left, I came first. Zach wasn't selfish, from what I could see so far. He had a determined soul and when he wanted something he went after it.

"Okay Zach if this is what you want, I say go for it," I smiled at him, squeezing his hand tighter. "You can," I let the words fall from my lips, giving him all the support I could. His eyes lit up as he wrapped his arms around me. It felt so good to be embraced so lovingly by someone other than my family, it made me feel loved.

_**2 days later**_

**Ricky's PoV**

I'd been putting this off for days. Rachel decided that it would be a good idea for me to call Amy before we saw each other. She figured this would be better than just popping up out of thin air, it would cause drama, her words not mine. Yeah, what she didn't know was that there was going to be drama either way it went. I'd dropped Amy, left her alone to care for our son with no excuse. As a matter of fact, no excuse would have condoned that. So, now at this very moment, with Rachel sitting beside me, I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

I hadn't been this nervous in my whole life. It was like I was meeting my mother for the first time in years… again. Rachel put her hand on my shoulder squeezing it for support. I smiled at her as I tensed up, hearing the phone pick up.

"Hello?" A small voice said on the phone curiously. John? I put my hand over my mouth. I didn't speak. "Hello? Mommy there's someone on the phone, but their being rude and not talking," he was making full sentences with no problems. I mean, I wrote him letters, but this was different. I'd thought that Amy helped him write them, yet now I wasn't so sure.

"John, what did I tell you about picking up the phone?" I heard Amy in the background, speaking with controlled scolding. She sounded different, she sounded stressed and tired.

"Sorry mommy, but you were busy doing homework, I didn't want you to be sturbed," he said and I laughed. Rachel put her ear to the phone trying to hear what was going on.

"The word is disturbed John and thank you, that's sweet," I heard a kissing noise on the other end. Rachel put my hand in hers, smiling at me. "Now, give mommy the phone and go get ready for bed," I heard John grumble, then Amy was breathing into the phone. "Hello?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Umm… hi Amy," I said guiltily. There was a gasp that came from her and I heard her sniffing. Was she crying?

"Why the hell are you calling me?" Amy asked loudly into the phone. I pulled it away from my ear slightly. I knew this wasn't a good idea. Rachel would find out shortly why it wasn't a good idea. "You've got some nerve calling me after all this time. I hate you," she was sniffling again. She really was crying.

"Amy listen, I'm sorry,"

"I don't want to hear it. I don't want your apology, you left me alone to take care of our son. I will never know why he still loves you, but I would never force him to stop. You hurt him and he still admires you," she said madly. I swallowed as Rachel put her hand over her mouth. Now she was getting it, the extent of the drama would never end.

"I'm sorry,"

"What did I just say? I don't care if you're sorry, I don't need a shitty apology from you. Just do us all a favor and never, ever, come back into our lives. Stay away from me and my son, I can find someone else who can help me take care of him," she said spitefully right before hanging up in my face. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of another man taking care of my son. It made me angry. I threw the phone into the nearest wall and Rachel jumped.

I glared at her, pulling her up from the seat forcefully. She flinched as I reached out to grab her.

"What did I say? Didn't I tell you this was a bad idea?" I flung her onto the couch as a tear fell down her eye. I looked down at her, balling up my hands into a fist. "Fuck," I said storming away from her and punching a wall before going into the bedroom and slamming the door.

**Adrian's PoV**

I so regret giving Ricky, Amy's phone number, that was a mistake that I knew would go straight to hell. Amy called me only hours ago complaining and blowing up about how Ricky Underwood had looked her up and gave her a ring. The girl was mad, the deadly mad that everyone feared. I'm glad I wasn't in the path of the volcano.

When I'd given away her information to him, I 'd though he would at least try to visit her first the moron. That chick probably told him to call, that was a mistake, since she didn't know what the hell was going on. If I was there now I would probably slap her. And since when did Ricky let a girl cloud his better judgment? This whole thing is going to get out of control, I just know it.

Nothing can ever go right for Amy and I, I never have expected it too. Thank God we were smart enough to stop bickering and come together, so we can ride out this storm called life, with some support from each other. However, I don't know how she would feel about me still talking to Ricky and not telling her, but I'd cut him off when I realized it was going too far and he needed to get to New York to visit his son and/or try to get Amy back. Well, scratch the latter since she seemed head over hill for this Zach guy she met before she left.

Like the good friend I am, I did some research on him, he seemed nice enough, but Ricky had seemed nice enough to. He didn't seem like he could do any harm and he definitely didn't seem like the kind of guy who would walk out on his family, but we were all wrong about that. There was nothing Amy could do but try, it was time for her to get out there again. It was time for her to start living, to start moving on because it was obvious that Ricky wasn't coming back.

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><p>Finally! And you guys are allowed to bash me as much as you want for this not so good chapter lol. It's pretty much just a filler until Ricky comes home… Anyway REVIEW!<p> 


	9. AN

**Important**

**AN**: Sorry, this isn't another chapter. I just wanted to inform people that I'm still alive and I am in the process of writing new chapter for Changing Pace and Call it a New Story. Working 8 hours 5 days a week and 17 hours of college courses have left me with barely any free time and that free time is spent doing homework or trying to rest my mind. I missed writing though, so I had to come back. I love these stories and all everyone that reads them and I couldn't bear to leave it like this. So I just want you to know that I'm back, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be updating every single week (Maybe once every two weeks), but I WILL most DEFINITELY be trying to post before two or three months pass (again!)

**OAN**: Does anyone else just think Brenda Hampton and the writers of SLOTAT just let it get cancelled? I mean, I know they didn't want the show to go because that's their income, but could they have not come up with different storylines? Anyone else think they should take a look at a few of the SLOTAT fanfiction stories, half, if not most of these stories are better than the television show itself. If it were up to me, I would've moved SLOTAT to MTV, CW, VH1 instead of keeping it on ABC Family that way, they could get risky without getting some of ABC Family's credibility taken a way. This show had potential to be an awesome teen soap opera. If the actors were better trained, becasuse let's be honest, everyone in secret life wasn't that great of an actor/actress, but I loved the show nonetheless. Anyway, I'm not bashing secret life because if I didn't like it, I would not have been on fanfiction writing it. It was fun while it lasted. Okay, I'm sure you guys are ready to kick me off my soap box lol, so peace out peeps. (Feel Free to Respond to my Rant!)


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